If you know me even just a little bit, you know that I LOVE
popcorn. It's definitely my guilty pleasure. Some of my friends keep popcorn in
their pantries just because they know I'm coming over and chances are that'll
be the one thing I ask for by the end of the night. It doesn't matter how I get
it...popped in the microwave, popped on the stove, popped over a campfire...homemade,
plain, doused in butter, or salt, or both...I'll take it!
So when I was talking to one of my friends the other night,
we were discussing where God had us and if He had spoken anything specific to
us about this New Year. He shared what was on his heart and proceeded to ask me
what I was getting from God in terms of the subject at hand.
NEW.
I'm not sure how profound it is...but it's something. Usually,
God speaks something pretty specific to me at the beginning of each year. Maybe
it's specific and I just don't realize it. Who knows...
I explained to my friend that this last year was like a
massive amount of organized chaos. Between life on the race, life at home,
family, friends, finances, health, etc...it's simply been chaotic. But unlike an
intense "MY LIFE IS FALLING APART!!" kind of chaos...more like kernels in a
popcorn maker kind of chaos.
As I was talking to my friend, I got this vision of a
popcorn maker. My roommate got one for Christmas and we had just made some the
night before, so it was fresh on my mind. It's the type of popcorn maker that
looks like a bubble on top of a round pan-looking bottom. When you turn it on,
a little arm spins around the bottom and stirs the kernels as the popcorn maker
heats up. It starts out very controlled...almost soothing. You know that chaos is
coming, but you know that in the end, the outcome is going to be sooo worth it!
And you can't wait to watch it happen.
So, last year, my life was similar to being in the middle of
a popcorn maker.
It started out controlled, but I knew that things were
heating up. And just like when popcorn kernels start to heat up, things in my life
started to explode. I quickly found out that my parents had separated...I was
threatened with malaria and kidney failure...life in Africa and India were super
dry and just blah...relationships back here in America were tested...the shock of
having much less community here in the states than I had anticipated set in.
The fire under me got hot! At times, it seemed way too hot
for comfort and I struggled with how exactly to deal with it. The funny thing
is that it always seemed to have some sort of weird hint of organization or
control to it...like that big bubble that contains the popcorn as it heats up. It
allows for popcorn to be produced and it keeps the popping going for a longer
period of time. It produces more "fruit" and it holds everything together
despite the tiny explosions going on within the popcorn maker. I think that's
been God this year...
But through the fire and the heat, life began to slow down.
If you've ever listened to popcorn pop, it starts out slow and then before you
know it, it's like an explosion is never ending in your popcorn maker, your pot
on the stove or in your microwave. And then as soon as you hear 5 seconds
between pops, you have to take it off the burner quickly as to not let it burn.
This was how my year ended. I feel like my life went through
a popcorn maker and I'm just sitting here, now, ready to enjoy the nice little
snack that the heat and the kernels created. It's crazy that you can add some
heat to something so small, crunchy and NOT satisfying and come out with
something so delectable, appetizing and enjoyable!
So, as far as this new year goes, I feel like I'm at a
perfect place to just enjoy life...enjoy what has happened in the past, what's
happening now and what the future is bringing.
"It's gonna be wild, it's gonna be great, it's gonna be full
of Me..."
So, it's been over a month since I returned back to the
states. In a way, it seems like I just got back a few days ago...on the other
hand, it seems like the race never even happened. I guess it's been similar to the
time warp I felt ON the Race.
The question is...what comes after the World Race?
It's a question I'm still trying to figure out day to day...sometimes
even hour to hour.
Arriving in New York was strange. It was almost numbing. It
was hard to believe that it was over. It was hard to say bye to everyone...but
there was this building anticipation of "CRAP, YAY, I'm going HOME!!"
Within the first few days, I went through the normal culture
shock. On the way home from the airport, my friends and I decided on lunch when
we got into Savannah. My response was this: "oh, it's so close to your
apartment! We don't even have to take transportation...we can just walk like 5
minutes and be back to eat!" That was followed by 4 people giving me the
strangest glare...and the response "well, I do have a car...we could just drive."
After nearly 11 months of having to take public transportation or walking
everywhere we went...even if it was an hour away, it baffled me that we would
waste our gas when our destination was soooo close!
I was so concerned with putting the windows down in vehicles
for the first couple rides (even though the A/C was on...duh!) that it took me
about 2 weeks to get used to putting a seat belt on again.
Stupid little culture shock things.
And then the realization set in. I realized that the World
Race wasn't just a dream. That I returned back to a country, a life, a culture,
a community that had gone through their own changes. That's the part that was
the hardest then and even now, it continues to be difficult.
It's so weird to see yourself in the light of who you were
and who you've become. It's weird to see the same people you used to click with
and find that you're on totally different levels. It's weird to try to live
life as you've been used to for almost a year in a culture that just doesn't
understand. It's strange to leave the country as "the victim," "the one with no
voice," "the weak one," and "the doubting, confused one"...and come back as "the
one living in freedom," the one with so much strength," the one with the
priceless voice," and "the one with the firm foundation and an undoubted
identity."
I've struggled with finding a happy medium between loving
people here who seem to "wallow" in where they are. Even that sounds terrible and
full of judgment. I'm in a season of finding that medium and loving.
I have to constantly remember that I used to be there...I used
to wallow and give up and sulk. I still get hit with doubt and fear and
insecurity just like anyone else. I still have my moments. But, just like I was
sent to love and learn about God's love around the world, I'm called to love
here...where I am...in whatever I'm doing. God's called me to SIMPLY LOVE.
So, what comes after the World Race??
LOVE
It casts out fear, heals, perseveres, protects, restores,
sets free, saves...and everything else you could possibly imagine.
It does what I cannot do in my own power.
It releases His power and His will on His children all
around the world.
So, here's a list of what I'm doing after the World Race
starting with (of course) the most important...
1.Loving
God
2.Loving
myself
3.Loving
others
4.Teaching at Providence Christian School as the 3rd,
4th, and 5th grade teacher. This was a HUGE blessing and
definitely provided by God! I interviewed over Skype from Romania and, although
I felt like I bombed it, they met with me again within 4 days of coming back to
America and the next day, I was attending Open House, meeting with the board
and planning my classroom. TOTALLY God ordained...I don't even fully have my
Masters yet and there are so many other qualified teachers...but God opened the
door and He's blessed me immensely with such an INCREDIBLE first teaching job!!
5.Getting acclimated with the people and the
culture around me...while still living free and totally sold out for Christ.
6.Trying to get re-established. When I left for
the World Race, I literally SOLD EVERYTHING. My first few days, I lived out of
my World Race backpack, stayed on a couch and relied on others to drive me
everywhere. NOW, I live out of a box, I sleep on a couch (still) and (still)
rely on others to drive me everywhere. (Ya'll ROCK!!) I have my moments where I
can't WAIT to get an apartment, a car, furniture, my own bed, a kitchen I can
call my own, etc. But then, I think about how nervous I am to get settled and how
I just wanna keep going and going and going. BUT, the truth of the matter is
that I KNOW God has called me here for this season and He's gonna provide what
I need to settle for this season.
So, this is my life after the World Race! It's been amazing
to be back! Amazingly awesome, chaotic, crazy, fun, faith-building...
I'm excited to see what else God's going to do in this
season! He's already working here in Savannah and I'm hoping I get to blog
about that soon, too.
Last, if you're located in Savannah and you have anything
you want to donate to help me re-establish, PLEASE, let me know. J I'll take everything I
can get!
Our
countdown is nearing the end. Tomorrow morning, we'll leave Romania and head
back to America. I can't believe it's over...but there are certain things I'll never forget about it...the most important being this group of people...
This
has been one of the most amazing, yet trying, years of my entire life. Please
read this excerpt from Ryan's blog that perfectly explains the race...
Imagine that you had a crazy
dream, and you stepped out in faith to follow it.
Imagine that you have left all
your comforts in life, and now choose to live uncomfortably.
Imagine leaving all your family
and friends to live with 40 strangers.
Imagine a life of abandonment.
Imagine living simple.
Imagine grieving a death from
5,000 miles away.
Imagine your name has changed to
"Mzungu."
Imagine going days without
showering.
Imagine that your friends are now
strangers, and strangers are your closest friends.
Imagine living with the homeless,
broken, hurt, lost, orphaned, and sick for an entire year.
Imagine celebrating every holiday
for a year without your friends and family.
Imagine that the world no longer
revolves around you!
Imagine that you start to care
more about other people than yourself.
Imagine facing all your biggest
fears head on!
Imagine living everyday as though
it were your last.
Imagine waking up at 7:00 am is
"Sleeping in."
Imagine totally relying on God for
all of your needs.
Imagine being supported
financially by strangers from all around the world you have never met.
Imagine preaching everyday to
people that don't even speak English.
Imagine praying for people who
just stole from you.
Imagine everything you owned
fitting into one backpack.
Imagine that you only had 1 pair
of pants, 3 pairs of shorts, 6 shirts, and 6 pairs of underwear for an
entire year.
Imagine being afraid of heights
and bungee jumping.
Imagine a life with no fast food
or drive-thru's.
Imagine a spiritual calling on
your life that seems impossible, but with God it becomes reality.
Imagine being in an African
hospital sick, and being able to say, "It's just malaria, I'll be
fine."
Imagine no dating for one year!
Imagine living everyday as a new
adventure.
Imagine not being hugged or
touched for a year by your family and friends.
Imagine praying for miracles, and
seeing God move!
Imagine sharing your complete
testimony with people, and seeing it change their lives.
Imagine learning to walk in
FREEDOM.
Imagine losing yourself, only to
find who you truly are.
Imagine trying to help the world,
although it seems to always be against you.
Imagine being misunderstood for a
year.
Imagine learning parts of 11 new
languages.
Imagine seeing an elephant walk
down the street as you eat, and it doesn't even phase you.
Imagine living in the jungle.
Imagine eating things that would
make most Americans' stomachs flip.
Imagine what was once
"crazy" has become "normal."
Imagine that you life would be
changed forever.
Imagine living in community with
people that fight for you, in love, to help you become better.
Imagine a life of constant
feedback.
Imagine finding a new way to
love people.
Imagine finding Gods love in a
deeper level.
Imagine making friends all over
the world.
Imagine that there is
"something more" out there.
Imagine that God is faithful, and
wants to show you how.
Imagine coming home a different
person than you left.
This
has been my life.
And
these people have been my family...33 of the most intense, insane,
Christ-followers I've ever had the pleasure of knowing!
...Well,
maybe not EVERY question you've ever had...but these are the answers to the questions
you've asked about my World Race! Thank you for asking! So, without further ado...the
ANSWERS!
1. Would
you do it all over again?
YES! This has been one of the most
stressful years of my life...yet, one of the best years of my life. As much as I went
through and witnessed, I wouldn't even consider not doing it again. The growth,
learning and freedom I found on the race is priceless to me and I would
definitely do it all over again to find what I found on this trip. And not to mention all the people I met and ministered to made the trip absolutely amazing!
2. Is
there ONE thing that stands out in all of your travels?
That life continues. Life is the
same where ever you go. There's disease, hurt, pain, poverty, joy, goodness, and
peace anywhere you go...it doesn't matter how the people live or what they look
like...we're all the same. We all strive to simply live this life in the best way
possible. And the greatest thing stands among us all...One God. He's the same
everywhere. Despite our different lives...He's faithful and good and He never
leaves us. I worship the same God as Christians in Thailand in the midst of
prostitution, in Cambodia amidst a history of genocide, in Uganda who's people
literally fight demonic powers within their loved ones, and in India where
villagers struggle just to survive. Life isn't always easy, no matter who you
are...but we serve a God who's faithful through it all!
3. How
many "friends" have you made since you've been on God's journey?
I've met people in every country
whom I'll never forget. Most of them are my facebook friends now! J ...so to answer the question...lots!
4. Have
you had FUN while doing God's work?
I've had a blast! Living life with some
of the most incredible people I've ever known adds a hint of spontaneity and
humor...pretty much at all times. Whether we were tearing up jungles and watching
our teammate eat worms or dressing up as our squad leaders and videotaping the
results...we always find time to have fun and laugh a little...well, a LOT!
5. What
was the biggest shock or surprise to you on this trip - the one thing that wasn't
at all the way you imagined or anticipated it would be?
I don't think there was even a shock on
the trip...it was things going on back home. I didn't anticipate things at home
changing so much and it definitely sent a shock through my system that I'm
still working out. They told us not to have expectations for the trip and I
think I held to that pretty well.
6. If you
had to do it all over again, what is one thing you would do differently?
I've been thinking of this one since
I got the question...it's a hard one! It's hard to say because without any of
this past year, I wouldn't be leaving as who I am now.
7. Out of
the 11 months, which one did you like the best?
My favorite was, by far, Thailand...November
2010. We got to work with the trafficking ministry, The Tamar Center, in Pattaya.
Trafficking ministries will always hold one of the highest places in my heart
in terms of ministry. I LOVE working with those women! I also walked through a
massive amount of freedom for myself that month! AND the culture, the people...everything about the place is amazing!
8. How
would you sum up the year in one word?
Is this even possible...how would you
sum up your year in one word?? Crazy... (but in all facets of the world...good,
bad, ugly, beautiful, materialistically speaking, mentally, spiritually,
physically...yeah)
9. Who was
your most favorite teammate out of all the ones you had over your 11 months?
Well, I could give every teammate a
most favorite title...
Most favorite to be "spaghetti" with
- Carmen
Most favorite to get straight, real
advice from - Nikki
Most favorite to worship with - Amy H
Most favorite drummer - Tricia
Most favorite to speak in 'Merican with
- Kelly
Most favorite Swiss couple - Stefan and
Christina (I love you guys!)
Most favorite to do Children's church
with - Taylor
Most favorite artist - Amy L
Most favorite Uno Dealer - Brian
Most favorite Pickle eater - Ashley
Most favorite teammate who should
have a cane - Michelle (ha!)
Most favorite Canadian
Spirit-fire-breather - Cassie
Most favorite teammate with innumerable
first names - Chandler...or Cha Cha...or Chow Chow...or Stanley...or Chandelier...
BUT above all, THE Q ROCKS MY WORLD!!! They've become my family and my most FAVORITE squad there is!
10. What
is the first thing you are going to EAT, when you are back in the states?
I can't decide!!! I'm having this
inner dilemma! Either tamales at Jalapeno's, a Quesadilla Explosion Salad at Chili's
or a Bacon Turkey Bravo and a bowl of Chicken Noodle Soup at Panera! OH...I can't
wait!!!!!
11. Will you ever do this again?
This specific trip...if God calls me, I'd be open to it! J Following the crazy path He puts in front of me...sign me
up, I'm IN!!!
12. How much closer do you feel to God?
Well, I've learned more about Him and how much He loves me
and this world. I've learned about His Spirit...about His faithfulness...about His
promises. I've learned that I most definitely can hear His voice and I LOVE
when He speaks! But, once again, I'm still living life like everyone else. I've
grown closer, but it hasn't been without ordinary struggles of...life. I know Him
more than I ever did before this trip and I know that I'll never be able to
forget what He's shown me. I know that the journey has only begun and it'll
only get better from here! I can't wait to see what He shows me about Himself
next!
13. What was the one creation from God here on Earth (that
you never have seen or heard of) that left you in AWE of Him all over again?
It was probably the sunrise over the ocean while we sat on
top of a mountain in the Philippines. Or the river in the Philippines that we
used to bathe in...when we went to bathe and He sent a storm to shower us from
above.
14. What person from another country helped you to see God's love for YOU in a
different light than before?
Probably Pastor Moses from Rwanda. He is one of the most
amazing Godly men I've ever met! He and his wife took amazing care of us for
the month. He shared his testimony with our team one night and it blew my mind
how faithful God was. He poured so much encouragement into me as the team
leader and was just there as a dad would be. He was an amazing example of God's
unfailing love for me, His daughter.
It's not unusual for me to go through a day, right now, and
think about the fact that this past year has literally seemed like a dream. It
seems like just yesterday, I was boarding a plane from St. Louis and flying to
LAX to meet up with the Q. I was terrified of stepping onto that plane and
leaving everything I'd ever known. I wasn't sure what to expect or even how to
go about it...but I trusted that God knew what He was doing with me.
So I stepped out of all of my discomforts, my fears and my
insecurities...and I left the states.
Fast forward 11 months...and now I'm about to return back to
the states.
As terrifying as it was to leave everything, I'm just as
terrified to return.
Once again, I don't know where I'm going or what I'll be
doing. Most everything is uncertain besides the fact that my family and friends
love me and that I have a couch, lots of food, my cat, hugs and love waiting
for me. Beyond the first few days of being home, I don't even know what to
expect...but I guess that's why we're taught to have no expectations.
Anyway, now I'm just rambling! It's hard to keep my thoughts
straight when there's so stinkin' many of them!
Last week, we got word that a new squad would be heading to
Bucharest for their launch. We jumped at the chance for an amazing opportunity
to meet up with the super fresh, new squad...X Squad!
This being our last month on the field and preparing to head
back to the states...and on top of that, having alot of down time this month...I've
had a lot of time to process the changing of seasons in my life. The World Race
is ending, but this new, incredible season is starting. In the process of
thinking over the past 11 months, I began to doubt just how much I'd actually
witnessed and how much I'd actually grown and changed.
And then, we met X Squad...
Amazing, called, women and men of God...ready and willing to
go out and serve despite that fear, discomfort and uncertainty that I mentioned
up there -^-
They took me back to my first days on the race...when I was so
nervous that I wasn't sure where to go or what to do unless someone told me. I
didn't understand feedback or vulnerability or being fluid. I questioned my
sanity when I decided to sign up for the trip...and then when I went to camp...and
then when I boarded the first plane...then the second...then the third...and so on.
They showed me one of the most beautiful places I've ever
been at in my life. This incredible balance of trusting and fearing...stepping
out but wanting with everything to hold back...being vulnerable just by simply "being"
yet wanting to run away super fast and far. Fighting every urge to back up and
go in the opposite direction...yet staying.
Putting God's plans before your own...not because it's
convenient or because it feels good or even because it's easy...
But because you're serving a God so much bigger and wiser
than you and you understand that His plans are greater than yours.
They took me back to how I was...and who I am now.
And it amazed me.
I'm not who I was.
And I can't go back to that person.
So, if you're expecting me to simply be Jennilee when I get
back...drop your expectations...that's the first rule for the World Race...it'll be
good for you to drop your expectations of who I am right now and just see it
for yourself. J
And it showed me who they are...X Squad.
Sold out...ready...doubtful, yet willing...fearful, yet excited...obedient...willing
to lay down their lives for the gospel...my brothers and sisters.
So as nervous as I am to return back home, I remember where I came from...and I take strength from the newbies...they're walking where I already have...and I'm about to walk back through where they just came from.
I can do this because I already did it once...and because they just did it.
I can't wait to see how their race begins. As mine comes to
a close, they will continue where we started...harvesting the seeds we planted
and watering the fields where we've visited.
So as two roads meet, they've diverged once again. We're
Ending...they're beginning. They're on the ride of a lifetime that will last for
the rest of their Earthly lives!
Last month, we were given the opportunity to help out at a
softball camp in a small village in Ukraine. World Race teams have helped to
host these in the past and, although I've never played before, I was super
excited about the opportunity to help out and learn for myself.
So we drove out to this quaint little village on Tuesday and
arrived at a small church. Several youth came out to greet us as we pulled up
and they took us for an hour of tea time and Q & A. This was, by far, the
most people I'd seen in one place in Ukraine who actually spoke enough English
to converse with! I was already amazed and loving the ministry.
Then we all hopped in the cars and headed out to the
field...although, I wouldn't call it a normal softball field. It was more like a
"hasn't been cut for over 2 years with 2 foot grass growing everywhere" kinda
field. But nonetheless, people started coming out of the wood works to see what
we were doing. We unloaded the bats, balls and gloves and went to work on the
basics...catch!
Of course, I was learning right along with everyone else. I
definitely made the mistake of trying to catch a hurling softball with my
ungloved hand...I learned real quick that that was a mistake. I also learned that
I throw "'somewhat" like a girl, but that it's always perfectly on target!
I had told the team weeks ago that when it came time to do
softball, I'd work the concession stand. So as they all took the field,
confident enough to know what in the world they were doing, I handed out candy
and got to know the girls from the church. We had SO much fun!
That evening, it began to rain before we were finished, so
we had to pack up early and head back to our town.
The next day, we headed back out to the field and met up
with even more people. Word had spread that we were there to teach them and
have fun, so they saw us pull in and made their way to the field.
We started with throwing/catching drills and went straight
into how to play the game.
It seems like such a simple ministry, but I can honestly say
that the 2 days we worked at the softball camps were some of the most amazing
days of ministry for the entire year. I loved hanging out with the youth from
the small town and encouraging them all on how to play. It was amazing to see
their improvement in just the 2 days that we were there with them!
On the last night, we showed the video "Facing the Giants"
to everyone who attended that day. Please be praying as the camps continue for
the rest of the summer!!
And check out our softball video, made by the amazing Michelle Cook!
It's so hard for me
to believe that Month 11 is here already! 11 countries. 11 months. That's the
World Race. And that means my time on the World Race is quickly coming to a
close...
I will be in ministry in
Bucharest for the rest of this month and then heading to Brasov, (home of
Dracula!!), for final debrief where I get to hang out with the Q for one last
week. On the 30th, I'll be landing in New York and... **drumroll** ...on
the 31st, I'll arrived back in Savannah!
As I prepare for my return home, I am also
preparing myself for the massive number of questions I will be asked upon my
return.
So, I'm stealing a blog
that one of my squad mates stole from Weston Belkot, a previous World Racer.J
If you have a question --- or multiple questions,
this is a time you can ask them. Either leave your question(s) as a comment onthisblog or send them as an e-mail through this blog. When I
return to America, I will post a blog with answers to all of them.
These questions can be deep, surfacy, funny, or
serious. Anything from "What was your favorite food?" to "How did the Spirit
lead you in each country?"
I want this to be fun, so please think outside of
the box a little. Or ask the obvious questions. Do what feels good. :)They
can be funny, serious, random, obvious, etc etc! GET CREATIVE!!! ..and
participate!..or else this will be really boring!
You will actually be helping me to process what
the heck has happened over the course of the past 11 months --- which will be
amazing.
I stole this blog from Michelle Cook...it
gives you an amazing look at some of the weird things we've experienced this
year! I've also added some other points. Enjoy!
Hello
friends!!
The
World Race is a totally different culture from anything I've ever been a part
of. World Racers are a breed of their own...I have compiled a list of
super random nonesense that can only happen on The World Race! Thanks to
my teammates who have helped...either by going through one of these experiences
or helping me to remember that I experienced quite a few of these
myself!! Some of these you may not understand...some of them will sounds
completely ridiculous...just know that each and every one of these is true
without exaggeration. Much love to you all! See ya soon :)
You know you're a world racer when:
1. You use your webcam as a mirror because there are none at any of the places
you stay or even the reflection from your iPod.
2. You try to piece together your broken pieces of deodorant because it's the
last one you brought from home and you still have 3 months left.
3. A ceramic squatty looks good after a month of squatting over a
hole in the ground.
4. You'll use pretty much any facility available to relieve
yourself...regardless of how clean (or dirty) it is.
5. iPod-alone-time is not a foreign concept...you stick your
headphones in, crank them up, and shut your eyes and you are suddenly
"alone" even though there are at least 5 other people in the
room.
6. A 9 am start time happens no earlier than 11 am.
7. You hoard napkins from places that actually have them because
you know you'll need to use it as tp at some point.
8. You routinely need to send a text to your contact for the month
simply telling him you will be late for dinner because you're casting out
demons.
9. You use Deet to take off your fingernail polish.
10. You try to create new clothing combos out of the same three
outfits you left home with.
11. The free table at debrief is like shopping at the mall
12. You cram 6 people into an ATM booth because it actually has
air-conditioning.
13. A 66 hour travel day is normal.
14. You get vomited on on the bus and you can't do anything about
it for another twelve hours.
15. The bus stops for a restroom break and the men stand beside
the bus and the women simply cross the street. There's no hiding behind bushes!
16. You use grass to clean the dirt from your teeth. Yes, that has
happened lol.
17. You have testimonies of most of your squad-mates memorized and
can even fill in the details left out because you've heard it over and over in
every country.
18. "Fellowship meeting" really means three people
will be preaching 45 minutes each.
19. Breast feeding in public is more normal than seeing a baby
being bottle fed.
20. You no longer care if the water you are brushing your teeth is
bottled or even boiled for safety.
21. Your only escape for privacy is your bucket shower. And even
that is sometimes not private!
22. You're considered high maintenance because you shower daily as
well change your underwear daily.
23. The "special mat" you sit on consists of leaves
pulled off a bush.
24. You'll use any sort of paper or object to clean under your
nails...receipt, notebook paper, plastic, tooth pick, fork, or the knife from
your leatherman, stick, laundry brush.
25. Your friends from home can't remember the last time they had
diarrhea and you can't remember the last you didn't.
26. You'd prefer to sleep on the floor of the airport because
it's more comfortable than the airport couches.
27. You walk around barefoot anytime you see carpet because you
know it'll be months before you feel it again.
28. Staying two days in the airport is actually preferred because
it means you'll have air conditioning, western toilets, and food other than
rice.
29. You're not sure if the tan line on your feet is from the
sun or the African dirt you've been walking in for 3 months.
30. You've finally thrown away your malaria meds to save space.
Either you were taking them and still got malaria or never took them and never
got malaria.
31. You think the space cleared up by removing your malaria meds
will actually make your pack lighter and less crowded.
32. You finally decide to shave your legs after a week and a half
and you shave off dirt that didn't come off from using your loofah.
33. Filling ANY size of vehicle over capacity by at least 5 people
is not out of the ordinary.
34. You'd rather stay in the same clothes for a few days because
it's easier than digging into your pack during travel times.
35. You finally have the opportunity to take a hot shower with
water pressure...so you take 3 showers in one day.
36. You sprain your ankle, so they cast it up...because it's safer.
37. The hospital in Uganda becomes your second home for the month.
38. You walk into a European mall after leaving Africa and have to
leave because there are 3 too many floors of beautiful clothes to see and you can't
breathe.
39. People back home don't worry about their mosquito or bug
bites, but my first instinct is "Oh, God! I hope they don't have malaria or a
flesh eating disease or ..."
40. You've weighed your options for the first restaurant you'll go
to upon returning home for 2 months and you still haven't made a decision.
41. You're friends with lots of new people on Facebook...but you
can't remember a lot of them.
42. You refer to months of the year as countries.
43. Random sounds and phrases like "mmmmm," "Praise Him," Walk in
that freedom," and "Kingdom" become part of your daily vocabulary.
44. You learn how to say "I can't speak Russian," but the
Babushka's just hear the Russian coming out of your mouth and continue on with
a conversation while you sit their clueless.
45. In some places, darn is a bad word. So when it comes out of
your mouth, you proceed to say every other "bad word" like "crap, ugh, shoot,
dangit, ahhhhhhhh!!"
46. You've lost every bikini tan line you've ever had and replaced
them with lines just below your knees and shoulders.
47. You turn on water from the faucet and don't have to worry
about conserving water...yet, you still only turn it up enough to dribble out.
48. You get dehydrated because you keep forgetting that you can
drink out of the water faucet again.
49. You've mastered the art of going to the bathroom while
squatting on a moving train.
50. You call 34 ragamuffin nomads your
family. I love the Q!
I had this expectation before the Race that I would fall so
hopelessly, madly in love with God more than I ever have before. I also thought
that by the end, I'd be so filled up with...I'm not even sure...but more filled
with passion and desire and everything else than before the Race. I also
thought that I'd have so much time to really just seek after God and we'd have
these incredibly, intense dialogues and I'd just be able to bask in His
presence.
There have definitely been times like that throughout the
World Race. But, kinda like life, sometimes you have your highs and sometimes
you're just simply in a low. I've fallen madly in love with God only to be tested
by struggles and trials in which I'd have to literally fight for love. I've
been filled up in my quiet times, by my squadmates and people all over the
world...but I've also been drained of so much that I just wanted to sit in a
corner and cry. I've experienced my own passion for Christ soar higher than
ever before. I've heard God speak so clearly to me that it was as if He were
sitting right next to me. But I've also gone through deserts where I thirsted
so much and for so long that I forgot what would actually quench that thirst.
It's been nearly 10.5 months since the beginning. With
everything that I've experienced over the past year, I continue to be amazed at
where God's brought me.
And even with that thought, I still doubt sometimes that I've
changed at all. I struggle. I deal with the doubts and the pain and the trials
like any other human.
For the past 4 days, we've been working with a children's
camp that is being hosted at our contact's complex. We've had hours upon hours
to pour into the kids and the staff of the camp. We've had so much fun. From
the moments where you attempt to jump on merry-go-rounds...and fail miserably,
only to fall off...to the moments where a child spots you across the chapel and
runs to sit next to you for the next hour...it's been incredible.
But, it wasn't until tonight that God started speaking to me
about some new things He wants to teach me. I was sitting in the youth service
as we started worship.
My first thought with foreign church services has honestly
become, "hmm, what can I do to pass the time while they worship and speak in a
completely different language?" How do you press into God when you have no idea
what's going on and you can't really even worship? It's difficult!
So they asked everyone to stand for worship in Romania and I
stood along with everyone else. The worship leader began to sing the worship
songs. And for the first time in 10.5 months...he sang English songs! He sang in
Romanian, but they were songs that I know in English...and GOOD ones at that! So
I began to sing.
And before I knew it, I was pressing in to God. I was
pouring out my songs and singing at the top of lungs even though everyone
around me was singing in a completely different language. The Spirit was taking
over and I was worshipping.
And not just to look like I understood what was going on...not
just to standing there oblivious to the words or the meaning behind them...
Completely overwhelmed by God's grace and His provision and
His love that He was pouring out over me in that very moment as I poured out my
worship unto Him!
It was in that moment that I began to listen. The guitarist
began to play "I Will Be Still and Know You Are God." I began to listen, not
only to God, but to the people around me. It's hard to talk to most of them
because most things get lost in translation, but in that moment, we were all
praising one God. There was no barrier between any of us, but we were all
worshipping the same Lord.
And God opened up my ears more. I definitely don't have the
best voice, but God showed me that it didn't matter. He showed me that even
with the worst voices in the mix, the choir of voices around me became one of
the most beautiful sounds I'd ever heard.
There was no individual voice...they all meshed together and
became one voice...with one purpose...for one God. And it reminded me of my life...
I have times when things are amazing...mountaintop moments...those
moments that you never want to end. Those are the beautiful voices that can
stand alone and stun a crowd. They grab your attention and keep you listening
for hours. Those voices, or moments, that blow you away because of how
beautiful they are.
I also have my desert moments where I hunger and thirst only
to find nothing ahead of me for awhile. Like those terrible voices that are out
of tune, out of harmony...just out. Those that can't stand on their own...and if
they did, they'd be asked to quiet down and stop. The moments that you want to
end as soon as possible so that you can get back to living out, or listening
to, the beautiful.
My life is full of beautiful, heavenly songs and
gut-wrenching, tone deaf songs. But when you put it all together, my life makes
up the most beautiful song because it's God that holds it all together and it's
all for Him.
So, even in my ugly moments, God's in them. To redeem. To
restore. To give grace. To love unconditionally. To spur me on to keep
fighting.
So, as this Race approaches the finish line, God's grace
continues on before me.
My song is beautiful.
Despite me. And my failures.
Despite me. And my triumphs.
It's beautiful. Because He orchestrates it. And He, Himself,
is woven throughout the entire song.
Oh, gosh! I can't believe that I'm actually writing this
right now!
I can still remember sitting down to watch the World Race
Intro video and making the decision to step out in faith and apply. I wasn't
sure what I was getting myself into, but I knew it could be the opportunity of
a lifetime. So, now that the Race is winding down and this season is coming to
a close, what, you ask, is on my mind?
1. Abandonment
This whole year has been about abandoning yourself to the
things of God...His will, His plan, His voice. I can't imagine going back to my
old life and not living in abandonment! I can't imagine living life how I used
to now that I know His voice so clearly...now that I know discomfort to the point
of being comfortable in it (YES, that was one of my goals!!!) I don't want it
to stop! Ever!
2. Momentum
As close as it's getting to returning to the states, it's
difficult to stay in ministry mode and not switch to home-planning mode. That's
where momentum comes in extremely handy. It's our team name and, so far, has
helped me almost weekly in staying focused on the Race while I'm still here.
The closer we get to the end, the more I have to repeat this word to
myself...it's getting to be almost daily. But, God still has me here in this season.
It's not over and we still have so much more of the world to share Jesus with!
Just keep moving, just keep pushing, just keep going!
3. Future
What does that even mean?! I have no idea. I don't know
what's to come or even where I'm going to end up. But I do know the answer that
is above all those things. My God. He's my future...and whatever that
entails...I'll take it. I'm excited about what's to come...although, constantly
trying to revert back to #2.
4. Uncertainty
This is where the "oh, crap, what in the heck is going to
happen, who have I become, who are you US people, what is this US culture,
crap, crap, crap!" reaction comes in handy. Am I really allowed to take a
shower AND run a dishwasher AND wash my clothes AND water the lawn all at
ONCE?? Can I really sit on this toilet? Is there really an entire aisle of
frozen pizza to choose from?? What in the world do I choose to eat when I have
a menu full of normal American appetizers, salads, soups, entrees, drinks AND
desserts??? How am I supposed to function without 4 other people to live life
with 24/7????? You don't know what feedback is...oh, gosh...
5. Change
Yeah, all of the above, plus more. I've always claimed that
change is what pushes you to grow more. So, I guess this will be my chance to
another season of growth. Well, bring it on. Because, here on the race, no day
is the same...there are changes every minute...and when you're working for the
Almighty God as your boss, He likes to change things up pretty often. So, I'm
pretty used to this one.
So, here's to the last month of this 11 month journey! I'm
excited to end this out in complete 1.Abandonment with 2.Momentum towards
5.Changing my 4.Uncertain 3.Future!