A Voice Calling Out - Freedom is Here

Popcorn Maker Kinda Life

Thu, 5 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

If you know me even just a little bit, you know that I LOVE popcorn. It's definitely my guilty pleasure. Some of my friends keep popcorn in their pantries just because they know I'm coming over and chances are that'll be the one thing I ask for by the end of the night. It doesn't matter how I get it...popped in the microwave, popped on the stove, popped over a campfire...homemade, plain, doused in butter, or salt, or both...I'll take it!

So when I was talking to one of my friends the other night, we were discussing where God had us and if He had spoken anything specific to us about this New Year. He shared what was on his heart and proceeded to ask me what I was getting from God in terms of the subject at hand.

NEW.

I'm not sure how profound it is...but it's something. Usually, God speaks something pretty specific to me at the beginning of each year. Maybe it's specific and I just don't realize it. Who knows...

I explained to my friend that this last year was like a massive amount of organized chaos. Between life on the race, life at home, family, friends, finances, health, etc...it's simply been chaotic. But unlike an intense "MY LIFE IS FALLING APART!!" kind of chaos...more like kernels in a popcorn maker kind of chaos.

As I was talking to my friend, I got this vision of a popcorn maker. My roommate got one for Christmas and we had just made some the night before, so it was fresh on my mind. It's the type of popcorn maker that looks like a bubble on top of a round pan-looking bottom. When you turn it on, a little arm spins around the bottom and stirs the kernels as the popcorn maker heats up. It starts out very controlled...almost soothing. You know that chaos is coming, but you know that in the end, the outcome is going to be sooo worth it! And you can't wait to watch it happen.

So, last year, my life was similar to being in the middle of a popcorn maker.

It started out controlled, but I knew that things were heating up. And just like when popcorn kernels start to heat up, things in my life started to explode. I quickly found out that my parents had separated...I was threatened with malaria and kidney failure...life in Africa and India were super dry and just blah...relationships back here in America were tested...the shock of having much less community here in the states than I had anticipated set in.

The fire under me got hot! At times, it seemed way too hot for comfort and I struggled with how exactly to deal with it. The funny thing is that it always seemed to have some sort of weird hint of organization or control to it...like that big bubble that contains the popcorn as it heats up. It allows for popcorn to be produced and it keeps the popping going for a longer period of time. It produces more "fruit" and it holds everything together despite the tiny explosions going on within the popcorn maker. I think that's been God this year...

But through the fire and the heat, life began to slow down. If you've ever listened to popcorn pop, it starts out slow and then before you know it, it's like an explosion is never ending in your popcorn maker, your pot on the stove or in your microwave. And then as soon as you hear 5 seconds between pops, you have to take it off the burner quickly as to not let it burn.

This was how my year ended. I feel like my life went through a popcorn maker and I'm just sitting here, now, ready to enjoy the nice little snack that the heat and the kernels created. It's crazy that you can add some heat to something so small, crunchy and NOT satisfying and come out with something so delectable, appetizing and enjoyable!

So, as far as this new year goes, I feel like I'm at a perfect place to just enjoy life...enjoy what has happened in the past, what's happening now and what the future is bringing.

"It's gonna be wild, it's gonna be great, it's gonna be full of Me..."

It's gonna be NEW!

Back in the Homeland

Wed, 7 Sep 2011 00:00:00 GMT

So, it's been over a month since I returned back to the states. In a way, it seems like I just got back a few days ago...on the other hand, it seems like the race never even happened. I guess it's been similar to the time warp I felt ON the Race.

The question is...what comes after the World Race?

It's a question I'm still trying to figure out day to day...sometimes even hour to hour.

Arriving in New York was strange. It was almost numbing. It was hard to believe that it was over. It was hard to say bye to everyone...but there was this building anticipation of "CRAP, YAY, I'm going HOME!!"

Within the first few days, I went through the normal culture shock. On the way home from the airport, my friends and I decided on lunch when we got into Savannah. My response was this: "oh, it's so close to your apartment! We don't even have to take transportation...we can just walk like 5 minutes and be back to eat!" That was followed by 4 people giving me the strangest glare...and the response "well, I do have a car...we could just drive." After nearly 11 months of having to take public transportation or walking everywhere we went...even if it was an hour away, it baffled me that we would waste our gas when our destination was soooo close!

I was so concerned with putting the windows down in vehicles for the first couple rides (even though the A/C was on...duh!) that it took me about 2 weeks to get used to putting a seat belt on again.

Stupid little culture shock things.

And then the realization set in. I realized that the World Race wasn't just a dream. That I returned back to a country, a life, a culture, a community that had gone through their own changes. That's the part that was the hardest then and even now, it continues to be difficult.

It's so weird to see yourself in the light of who you were and who you've become. It's weird to see the same people you used to click with and find that you're on totally different levels. It's weird to try to live life as you've been used to for almost a year in a culture that just doesn't understand. It's strange to leave the country as "the victim," "the one with no voice," "the weak one," and "the doubting, confused one"...and come back as "the one living in freedom," the one with so much strength," the one with the priceless voice," and "the one with the firm foundation and an undoubted identity."

I've struggled with finding a happy medium between loving people here who seem to "wallow" in where they are. Even that sounds terrible and full of judgment. I'm in a season of finding that medium and loving.

I have to constantly remember that I used to be there...I used to wallow and give up and sulk. I still get hit with doubt and fear and insecurity just like anyone else. I still have my moments. But, just like I was sent to love and learn about God's love around the world, I'm called to love here...where I am...in whatever I'm doing. God's called me to SIMPLY LOVE.

So, what comes after the World Race??

LOVE

It casts out fear, heals, perseveres, protects, restores, sets free, saves...and everything else you could possibly imagine.

It does what I cannot do in my own power.

It releases His power and His will on His children all around the world.

So, here's a list of what I'm doing after the World Race starting with (of course) the most important...

1. Loving God

2. Loving myself

3. Loving others

4. Teaching at Providence Christian School as the 3^rd, 4^th, and 5^th grade teacher. This was a HUGE blessing and definitely provided by God! I interviewed over Skype from Romania and, although I felt like I bombed it, they met with me again within 4 days of coming back to America and the next day, I was attending Open House, meeting with the board and planning my classroom. TOTALLY God ordained...I don't even fully have my Masters yet and there are so many other qualified teachers...but God opened the door and He's blessed me immensely with such an INCREDIBLE first teaching job!!

5. Getting acclimated with the people and the culture around me...while still living free and totally sold out for Christ.

6. Trying to get re-established. When I left for the World Race, I literally SOLD EVERYTHING. My first few days, I lived out of my World Race backpack, stayed on a couch and relied on others to drive me everywhere. NOW, I live out of a box, I sleep on a couch (still) and (still) rely on others to drive me everywhere. (Ya'll ROCK!!) I have my moments where I can't WAIT to get an apartment, a car, furniture, my own bed, a kitchen I can call my own, etc. But then, I think about how nervous I am to get settled and how I just wanna keep going and going and going. BUT, the truth of the matter is that I KNOW God has called me here for this season and He's gonna provide what I need to settle for this season.

So, this is my life after the World Race! It's been amazing to be back! Amazingly awesome, chaotic, crazy, fun, faith-building...

I'm excited to see what else God's going to do in this season! He's already working here in Savannah and I'm hoping I get to blog about that soon, too.

Last, if you're located in Savannah and you have anything you want to donate to help me re-establish, PLEASE, let me know. J I'll take everything I can get!

We are the "Q"

Fri, 29 Jul 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Our countdown is nearing the end. Tomorrow morning, we'll leave Romania and head back to America. I can't believe it's over...but there are certain things I'll never forget about it...the most important being this group of people...

This has been one of the most amazing, yet trying, years of my entire life. Please read this excerpt from Ryan's blog that perfectly explains the race...

Imagine that you had a crazy dream, and you stepped out in faith to follow it.

Imagine that you have left all your comforts in life, and now choose to live uncomfortably.

Imagine leaving all your family and friends to live with 40 strangers.

Imagine a life of abandonment.

Imagine living simple.

Imagine grieving a death from 5,000 miles away.

Imagine your name has changed to "Mzungu."

Imagine going days without showering.

Imagine that your friends are now strangers, and strangers are your closest friends.

Imagine living with the homeless, broken, hurt, lost, orphaned, and sick for an entire year.

Imagine celebrating every holiday for a year without your friends and family.

Imagine that the world no longer revolves around you!

Imagine that you start to care more about other people than yourself.

Imagine facing all your biggest fears head on!

Imagine living everyday as though it were your last.

Imagine waking up at 7:00 am is "Sleeping in."

Imagine totally relying on God for all of your needs.

Imagine being supported financially by strangers from all around the world you have never met.

Imagine preaching everyday to people that don't even speak English.

Imagine praying for people who just stole from you.

Imagine everything you owned fitting into one backpack.

Imagine that you only had 1 pair of pants, 3 pairs of shorts, 6 shirts, and 6 pairs of underwear for an entire year.

Imagine being afraid of heights and bungee jumping.

Imagine a life with no fast food or drive-thru's.

Imagine a spiritual calling on your life that seems impossible, but with God it becomes reality.

Imagine being in an African hospital sick, and being able to say, "It's just malaria, I'll be fine."

Imagine no dating for one year!

Imagine living everyday as a new adventure.

Imagine not being hugged or touched for a year by your family and friends.

Imagine praying for miracles, and seeing God move!

Imagine sharing your complete testimony with people, and seeing it change their lives.

Imagine learning to walk in FREEDOM.

Imagine losing yourself, only to find who you truly are.

Imagine trying to help the world, although it seems to always be against you.

Imagine being misunderstood for a year.

Imagine learning parts of 11 new languages.

Imagine seeing an elephant walk down the street as you eat, and it doesn't even phase you.

Imagine living in the jungle.

Imagine eating things that would make most Americans' stomachs flip.

Imagine what was once "crazy" has become "normal."

Imagine that you life would be changed forever.

Imagine living in community with people that fight for you, in love, to help you become better.

Imagine a life of constant feedback.

Imagine finding a new way to love people.

Imagine finding Gods love in a deeper level.

Imagine making friends all over the world.

Imagine that there is "something more" out there.

Imagine that God is faithful, and wants to show you how.

Imagine coming home a different person than you left.

This has been my life.

And these people have been my family...33 of the most intense, insane, Christ-followers I've ever had the pleasure of knowing!

We are the "Q"

The Answers to Every Question You've Ever Asked

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 00:00:00 GMT

...Well, maybe not EVERY question you've ever had...but these are the answers to the questions you've asked about my World Race! Thank you for asking! So, without further ado...the ANSWERS!

1. Would you do it all over again?

YES! This has been one of the most stressful years of my life...yet, one of the best years of my life. As much as I went through and witnessed, I wouldn't even consider not doing it again. The growth, learning and freedom I found on the race is priceless to me and I would definitely do it all over again to find what I found on this trip. And not to mention all the people I met and ministered to made the trip absolutely amazing!

2. Is there ONE thing that stands out in all of your travels?

That life continues. Life is the same where ever you go. There's disease, hurt, pain, poverty, joy, goodness, and peace anywhere you go...it doesn't matter how the people live or what they look like...we're all the same. We all strive to simply live this life in the best way possible. And the greatest thing stands among us all...One God. He's the same everywhere. Despite our different lives...He's faithful and good and He never leaves us. I worship the same God as Christians in Thailand in the midst of prostitution, in Cambodia amidst a history of genocide, in Uganda who's people literally fight demonic powers within their loved ones, and in India where villagers struggle just to survive. Life isn't always easy, no matter who you are...but we serve a God who's faithful through it all!

3. How many "friends" have you made since you've been on God's journey?

I've met people in every country whom I'll never forget. Most of them are my facebook friends now! J ...so to answer the question...lots!

4. Have you had FUN while doing God's work?

I've had a blast! Living life with some of the most incredible people I've ever known adds a hint of spontaneity and humor...pretty much at all times. Whether we were tearing up jungles and watching our teammate eat worms or dressing up as our squad leaders and videotaping the results...we always find time to have fun and laugh a little...well, a LOT!

5. What was the biggest shock or surprise to you on this trip - the one thing that wasn't at all the way you imagined or anticipated it would be?

I don't think there was even a shock on the trip...it was things going on back home. I didn't anticipate things at home changing so much and it definitely sent a shock through my system that I'm still working out. They told us not to have expectations for the trip and I think I held to that pretty well.

6. If you had to do it all over again, what is one thing you would do differently?

I've been thinking of this one since I got the question...it's a hard one! It's hard to say because without any of this past year, I wouldn't be leaving as who I am now.

7. Out of the 11 months, which one did you like the best?

My favorite was, by far, Thailand...November 2010. We got to work with the trafficking ministry, The Tamar Center, in Pattaya. Trafficking ministries will always hold one of the highest places in my heart in terms of ministry. I LOVE working with those women! I also walked through a massive amount of freedom for myself that month! AND the culture, the people...everything about the place is amazing!

8. How would you sum up the year in one word?

Is this even possible...how would you sum up your year in one word?? Crazy... (but in all facets of the world...good, bad, ugly, beautiful, materialistically speaking, mentally, spiritually, physically...yeah)

9. Who was your most favorite teammate out of all the ones you had over your 11 months?

Well, I could give every teammate a most favorite title...

Most favorite to be "spaghetti" with - Carmen

Most favorite to get straight, real advice from - Nikki

Most favorite to worship with - Amy H

Most favorite drummer - Tricia

Most favorite to speak in 'Merican with - Kelly

Most favorite Swiss couple - Stefan and Christina (I love you guys!)

Most favorite to do Children's church with - Taylor

Most favorite artist - Amy L

Most favorite Uno Dealer - Brian

Most favorite Pickle eater - Ashley

Most favorite teammate who should have a cane - Michelle (ha!)

Most favorite Canadian Spirit-fire-breather - Cassie

Most favorite teammate with innumerable first names - Chandler...or Cha Cha...or Chow Chow...or Stanley...or Chandelier...

BUT above all, THE Q ROCKS MY WORLD!!! They've become my family and my most FAVORITE squad there is!

10. What is the first thing you are going to EAT, when you are back in the states?

I can't decide!!! I'm having this inner dilemma! Either tamales at Jalapeno's, a Quesadilla Explosion Salad at Chili's or a Bacon Turkey Bravo and a bowl of Chicken Noodle Soup at Panera! OH...I can't wait!!!!!

11. Will you ever do this again?

This specific trip...if God calls me, I'd be open to it! J Following the crazy path He puts in front of me...sign me up, I'm IN!!!

12. How much closer do you feel to God?

Well, I've learned more about Him and how much He loves me and this world. I've learned about His Spirit...about His faithfulness...about His promises. I've learned that I most definitely can hear His voice and I LOVE when He speaks! But, once again, I'm still living life like everyone else. I've grown closer, but it hasn't been without ordinary struggles of...life. I know Him more than I ever did before this trip and I know that I'll never be able to forget what He's shown me. I know that the journey has only begun and it'll only get better from here! I can't wait to see what He shows me about Himself next!

13. What was the one creation from God here on Earth (that you never have seen or heard of) that left you in AWE of Him all over again?

It was probably the sunrise over the ocean while we sat on top of a mountain in the Philippines. Or the river in the Philippines that we used to bathe in...when we went to bathe and He sent a storm to shower us from above.

14. What person from another country helped you to see God's love for YOU in a different light than before?

Probably Pastor Moses from Rwanda. He is one of the most amazing Godly men I've ever met! He and his wife took amazing care of us for the month. He shared his testimony with our team one night and it blew my mind how faithful God was. He poured so much encouragement into me as the team leader and was just there as a dad would be. He was an amazing example of God's unfailing love for me, His daughter.

2 Roads Diverged: Q <--> X

Tue, 19 Jul 2011 00:00:00 GMT

It's not unusual for me to go through a day, right now, and think about the fact that this past year has literally seemed like a dream. It seems like just yesterday, I was boarding a plane from St. Louis and flying to LAX to meet up with the Q. I was terrified of stepping onto that plane and leaving everything I'd ever known. I wasn't sure what to expect or even how to go about it...but I trusted that God knew what He was doing with me.

So I stepped out of all of my discomforts, my fears and my insecurities...and I left the states.

Fast forward 11 months...and now I'm about to return back to the states.

As terrifying as it was to leave everything, I'm just as terrified to return.

Once again, I don't know where I'm going or what I'll be doing. Most everything is uncertain besides the fact that my family and friends love me and that I have a couch, lots of food, my cat, hugs and love waiting for me. Beyond the first few days of being home, I don't even know what to expect...but I guess that's why we're taught to have no expectations.

Anyway, now I'm just rambling! It's hard to keep my thoughts straight when there's so stinkin' many of them!

Last week, we got word that a new squad would be heading to Bucharest for their launch. We jumped at the chance for an amazing opportunity to meet up with the super fresh, new squad...X Squad!

This being our last month on the field and preparing to head back to the states...and on top of that, having alot of down time this month...I've had a lot of time to process the changing of seasons in my life. The World Race is ending, but this new, incredible season is starting. In the process of thinking over the past 11 months, I began to doubt just how much I'd actually witnessed and how much I'd actually grown and changed.

And then, we met X Squad...

Amazing, called, women and men of God...ready and willing to go out and serve despite that fear, discomfort and uncertainty that I mentioned up there -^-

They took me back to my first days on the race...when I was so nervous that I wasn't sure where to go or what to do unless someone told me. I didn't understand feedback or vulnerability or being fluid. I questioned my sanity when I decided to sign up for the trip...and then when I went to camp...and then when I boarded the first plane...then the second...then the third...and so on.

They showed me one of the most beautiful places I've ever been at in my life. This incredible balance of trusting and fearing...stepping out but wanting with everything to hold back...being vulnerable just by simply "being" yet wanting to run away super fast and far. Fighting every urge to back up and go in the opposite direction...yet staying.

Putting God's plans before your own...not because it's convenient or because it feels good or even because it's easy...

But because you're serving a God so much bigger and wiser than you and you understand that His plans are greater than yours.

They took me back to how I was...and who I am now.

And it amazed me.

I'm not who I was.

And I can't go back to that person.

So, if you're expecting me to simply be Jennilee when I get back...drop your expectations...that's the first rule for the World Race...it'll be good for you to drop your expectations of who I am right now and just see it for yourself. J

And it showed me who they are...X Squad.

Sold out...ready...doubtful, yet willing...fearful, yet excited...obedient...willing to lay down their lives for the gospel...my brothers and sisters.

So as nervous as I am to return back home, I remember where I came from...and I take strength from the newbies...they're walking where I already have...and I'm about to walk back through where they just came from.

I can do this because I already did it once...and because they just did it.

I can't wait to see how their race begins. As mine comes to a close, they will continue where we started...harvesting the seeds we planted and watering the fields where we've visited.

So as two roads meet, they've diverged once again. We're Ending...they're beginning. They're on the ride of a lifetime that will last for the rest of their Earthly lives!

X Squad...BRING THE KINGDOM!!

You Know You're a World Racer When... (revised)

Fri, 8 Jul 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I stole this blog from Michelle Cook...it gives you an amazing look at some of the weird things we've experienced this year! I've also added some other points. Enjoy!

Hello friends!!

The World Race is a totally different culture from anything I've ever been a part of. World Racers are a breed of their own...I have compiled a list of super random nonesense that can only happen on The World Race! Thanks to my teammates who have helped...either by going through one of these experiences or helping me to remember that I experienced quite a few of these myself!! Some of these you may not understand...some of them will sounds completely ridiculous...just know that each and every one of these is true without exaggeration. Much love to you all! See ya soon :)

You know you're a world racer when:

1. You use your webcam as a mirror because there are none at any of the places you stay or even the reflection from your iPod.

2. You try to piece together your broken pieces of deodorant because it's the last one you brought from home and you still have 3 months left.

3. A ceramic squatty looks good after a month of squatting over a hole in the ground.

4. You'll use pretty much any facility available to relieve yourself...regardless of how clean (or dirty) it is.

5. iPod-alone-time is not a foreign concept...you stick your headphones in, crank them up, and shut your eyes and you are suddenly "alone" even though there are at least 5 other people in the room.

6. A 9 am start time happens no earlier than 11 am.

7. You hoard napkins from places that actually have them because you know you'll need to use it as tp at some point.

8. You routinely need to send a text to your contact for the month simply telling him you will be late for dinner because you're casting out demons.

9. You use Deet to take off your fingernail polish.

10. You try to create new clothing combos out of the same three outfits you left home with.

11. The free table at debrief is like shopping at the mall

12. You cram 6 people into an ATM booth because it actually has air-conditioning.

13. A 66 hour travel day is normal.

14. You get vomited on on the bus and you can't do anything about it for another twelve hours.

15. The bus stops for a restroom break and the men stand beside the bus and the women simply cross the street. There's no hiding behind bushes!

16. You use grass to clean the dirt from your teeth. Yes, that has happened lol.

17. You have testimonies of most of your squad-mates memorized and can even fill in the details left out because you've heard it over and over in every country.

18. "Fellowship meeting" really means three people will be preaching 45 minutes each.

19. Breast feeding in public is more normal than seeing a baby being bottle fed.

20. You no longer care if the water you are brushing your teeth is bottled or even boiled for safety.

21. Your only escape for privacy is your bucket shower. And even that is sometimes not private!

22. You're considered high maintenance because you shower daily as well change your underwear daily.

23. The "special mat" you sit on consists of leaves pulled off a bush.

24. You'll use any sort of paper or object to clean under your nails...receipt, notebook paper, plastic, tooth pick, fork, or the knife from your leatherman, stick, laundry brush.

25. Your friends from home can't remember the last time they had diarrhea and you can't remember the last you didn't.

26. You'd prefer to sleep on the floor of the airport because it's more comfortable than the airport couches.

27. You walk around barefoot anytime you see carpet because you know it'll be months before you feel it again.

28. Staying two days in the airport is actually preferred because it means you'll have air conditioning, western toilets, and food other than rice.

29. You're not sure if the tan line on your feet is from the sun or the African dirt you've been walking in for 3 months.

30. You've finally thrown away your malaria meds to save space. Either you were taking them and still got malaria or never took them and never got malaria.

31. You think the space cleared up by removing your malaria meds will actually make your pack lighter and less crowded.

32. You finally decide to shave your legs after a week and a half and you shave off dirt that didn't come off from using your loofah.

33. Filling ANY size of vehicle over capacity by at least 5 people is not out of the ordinary.

34. You'd rather stay in the same clothes for a few days because it's easier than digging into your pack during travel times.

35. You finally have the opportunity to take a hot shower with water pressure...so you take 3 showers in one day.

36. You sprain your ankle, so they cast it up...because it's safer.

37. The hospital in Uganda becomes your second home for the month.

38. You walk into a European mall after leaving Africa and have to leave because there are 3 too many floors of beautiful clothes to see and you can't breathe.

39. People back home don't worry about their mosquito or bug bites, but my first instinct is "Oh, God! I hope they don't have malaria or a flesh eating disease or ..."

40. You've weighed your options for the first restaurant you'll go to upon returning home for 2 months and you still haven't made a decision.

41. You're friends with lots of new people on Facebook...but you can't remember a lot of them.

42. You refer to months of the year as countries.

43. Random sounds and phrases like "mmmmm," "Praise Him," Walk in that freedom," and "Kingdom" become part of your daily vocabulary.

44. You learn how to say "I can't speak Russian," but the Babushka's just hear the Russian coming out of your mouth and continue on with a conversation while you sit their clueless.

45. In some places, darn is a bad word. So when it comes out of your mouth, you proceed to say every other "bad word" like "crap, ugh, shoot, dangit, ahhhhhhhh!!"

46. You've lost every bikini tan line you've ever had and replaced them with lines just below your knees and shoulders.

47. You turn on water from the faucet and don't have to worry about conserving water...yet, you still only turn it up enough to dribble out.

48. You get dehydrated because you keep forgetting that you can drink out of the water faucet again.

49. You've mastered the art of going to the bathroom while squatting on a moving train.

50. You call 34 ragamuffin nomads your family. I love the Q!

ask ANYTHING!

Fri, 8 Jul 2011 00:00:00 GMT

It's so hard for me to believe that Month 11 is here already! 11 countries. 11 months. That's the World Race. And that means my time on the World Race is quickly coming to a close...

I will be in ministry in Bucharest for the rest of this month and then heading to Brasov, (home of Dracula!!), for final debrief where I get to hang out with the Q for one last week. On the 30^th, I'll be landing in New York and... **drumroll** ...on the 31^st, I'll arrived back in Savannah!

As I prepare for my return home, I am also preparing myself for the massive number of questions I will be asked upon my return.

So, I'm stealing a blog that one of my squad mates stole from Weston Belkot, a previous World Racer. J

If you have a question --- or multiple questions, this is a time you can ask them. Either leave your question(s) as a comment on this blog or send them as an e-mail through this blog. When I return to America, I will post a blog with answers to all of them.

These questions can be deep, surfacy, funny, or serious. Anything from "What was your favorite food?" to "How did the Spirit lead you in each country?"

I want this to be fun, so please think outside of the box a little. Or ask the obvious questions. Do what feels good. :)They can be funny, serious, random, obvious, etc etc! GET CREATIVE!!! ..and participate!..or else this will be really boring!

You will actually be helping me to process what the heck has happened over the course of the past 11 months --- which will be amazing.

So yep. There you have it. Ask away, please! J

I can't wait to see you all!!

1...2...3 Strikes You're Out! (Video)

Fri, 8 Jul 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Last month, we were given the opportunity to help out at a softball camp in a small village in Ukraine. World Race teams have helped to host these in the past and, although I've never played before, I was super excited about the opportunity to help out and learn for myself.

So we drove out to this quaint little village on Tuesday and arrived at a small church. Several youth came out to greet us as we pulled up and they took us for an hour of tea time and Q & A. This was, by far, the most people I'd seen in one place in Ukraine who actually spoke enough English to converse with! I was already amazed and loving the ministry.

Then we all hopped in the cars and headed out to the field...although, I wouldn't call it a normal softball field. It was more like a "hasn't been cut for over 2 years with 2 foot grass growing everywhere" kinda field. But nonetheless, people started coming out of the wood works to see what we were doing. We unloaded the bats, balls and gloves and went to work on the basics...catch!

Of course, I was learning right along with everyone else. I definitely made the mistake of trying to catch a hurling softball with my ungloved hand...I learned real quick that that was a mistake. I also learned that I throw "'somewhat" like a girl, but that it's always perfectly on target!

I had told the team weeks ago that when it came time to do softball, I'd work the concession stand. So as they all took the field, confident enough to know what in the world they were doing, I handed out candy and got to know the girls from the church. We had SO much fun!

That evening, it began to rain before we were finished, so we had to pack up early and head back to our town.

The next day, we headed back out to the field and met up with even more people. Word had spread that we were there to teach them and have fun, so they saw us pull in and made their way to the field.

We started with throwing/catching drills and went straight into how to play the game.

It seems like such a simple ministry, but I can honestly say that the 2 days we worked at the softball camps were some of the most amazing days of ministry for the entire year. I loved hanging out with the youth from the small town and encouraging them all on how to play. It was amazing to see their improvement in just the 2 days that we were there with them!

On the last night, we showed the video "Facing the Giants" to everyone who attended that day. Please be praying as the camps continue for the rest of the summer!!

And check out our softball video, made by the amazing Michelle Cook!

Heavenly Tone-Deafs

Mon, 4 Jul 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I had this expectation before the Race that I would fall so hopelessly, madly in love with God more than I ever have before. I also thought that by the end, I'd be so filled up with...I'm not even sure...but more filled with passion and desire and everything else than before the Race. I also thought that I'd have so much time to really just seek after God and we'd have these incredibly, intense dialogues and I'd just be able to bask in His presence.

There have definitely been times like that throughout the World Race. But, kinda like life, sometimes you have your highs and sometimes you're just simply in a low. I've fallen madly in love with God only to be tested by struggles and trials in which I'd have to literally fight for love. I've been filled up in my quiet times, by my squadmates and people all over the world...but I've also been drained of so much that I just wanted to sit in a corner and cry. I've experienced my own passion for Christ soar higher than ever before. I've heard God speak so clearly to me that it was as if He were sitting right next to me. But I've also gone through deserts where I thirsted so much and for so long that I forgot what would actually quench that thirst.

It's been nearly 10.5 months since the beginning. With everything that I've experienced over the past year, I continue to be amazed at where God's brought me.

And even with that thought, I still doubt sometimes that I've changed at all. I struggle. I deal with the doubts and the pain and the trials like any other human.

For the past 4 days, we've been working with a children's camp that is being hosted at our contact's complex. We've had hours upon hours to pour into the kids and the staff of the camp. We've had so much fun. From the moments where you attempt to jump on merry-go-rounds...and fail miserably, only to fall off...to the moments where a child spots you across the chapel and runs to sit next to you for the next hour...it's been incredible.

But, it wasn't until tonight that God started speaking to me about some new things He wants to teach me. I was sitting in the youth service as we started worship.

My first thought with foreign church services has honestly become, "hmm, what can I do to pass the time while they worship and speak in a completely different language?" How do you press into God when you have no idea what's going on and you can't really even worship? It's difficult!

So they asked everyone to stand for worship in Romania and I stood along with everyone else. The worship leader began to sing the worship songs. And for the first time in 10.5 months...he sang English songs! He sang in Romanian, but they were songs that I know in English...and GOOD ones at that! So I began to sing.

And before I knew it, I was pressing in to God. I was pouring out my songs and singing at the top of lungs even though everyone around me was singing in a completely different language. The Spirit was taking over and I was worshipping.

And not just to look like I understood what was going on...not just to standing there oblivious to the words or the meaning behind them...

Completely overwhelmed by God's grace and His provision and His love that He was pouring out over me in that very moment as I poured out my worship unto Him!

It was in that moment that I began to listen. The guitarist began to play "I Will Be Still and Know You Are God." I began to listen, not only to God, but to the people around me. It's hard to talk to most of them because most things get lost in translation, but in that moment, we were all praising one God. There was no barrier between any of us, but we were all worshipping the same Lord.

And God opened up my ears more. I definitely don't have the best voice, but God showed me that it didn't matter. He showed me that even with the worst voices in the mix, the choir of voices around me became one of the most beautiful sounds I'd ever heard.

There was no individual voice...they all meshed together and became one voice...with one purpose...for one God. And it reminded me of my life...

I have times when things are amazing...mountaintop moments...those moments that you never want to end. Those are the beautiful voices that can stand alone and stun a crowd. They grab your attention and keep you listening for hours. Those voices, or moments, that blow you away because of how beautiful they are.

I also have my desert moments where I hunger and thirst only to find nothing ahead of me for awhile. Like those terrible voices that are out of tune, out of harmony...just out. Those that can't stand on their own...and if they did, they'd be asked to quiet down and stop. The moments that you want to end as soon as possible so that you can get back to living out, or listening to, the beautiful.

My life is full of beautiful, heavenly songs and gut-wrenching, tone deaf songs. But when you put it all together, my life makes up the most beautiful song because it's God that holds it all together and it's all for Him.

So, even in my ugly moments, God's in them. To redeem. To restore. To give grace. To love unconditionally. To spur me on to keep fighting.

So, as this Race approaches the finish line, God's grace continues on before me.

My song is beautiful.

Despite me. And my failures.

Despite me. And my triumphs.

It's beautiful. Because He orchestrates it. And He, Himself, is woven throughout the entire song.

Locked Up in Love

Fri, 24 Jun 2011 00:00:00 GMT

For one evening this month, Ashley and I got the rare opportunity to stay at the house of a Ukrainian Babushka. She lived in a quaint little cottage house near a local river. We spent the evening venturing out into the area surrounding her house and I was amazed at the beauty of the land around her house. It was an evening that ended up being super revelatory.

We started out walking through her acres of fields. She took care of the fields on her own and grew everything from corn and tomatoes to pumpkins and watermelons. We made our way to the river behind her house and spent some time taking pictures while Timothy went for a short dip in the water.

As soon as we left the river's edge, Timothy translated to us that she wished to take us to the bridge upstream. So, we headed off walking in the direction of the bridge. As we neared it, I was in awe at the majestic beauty of my surroundings. On one side, there was a beautiful mountain. On another, you could see fields for miles. On another, a serene river flowed through the landscape. On another, the sun was setting over the horizon.

On another, and to our destination, lay a gorgeous wrought iron bridge spanning the width of the river. Immediately, I started shooting picture after picture, hoping to capture at least some of the beauty that I was breathing in and living in that moment.

We started our walk across the river and I spotted several padlocks along the wrought iron railing posts. I asked our Babushka what they were for and, with Timothy's help, she explained their purpose.

On their wedding days, new couples come out to the bridge to proclaim their love to the world. They bring with them a padlock with their names on one side and a message on the other. Together, they close the padlock around the iron and lock it in place. Then, hand in hand, they throw the key into the river along with the message that will last a lifetime...our love is locked and sealed...nothing will separate what God has started...the life that we have begun together will last into eternity.

When I heard the story and saw the padlocks, I was slightly stunned. It hit me just how much God does the same with us.

He slowly unlocks our hearts. His grace, mercy and unconditional love pour out onto us and into our lives. He's loved us forever, but we begin to see His love and respond to Him. And then we make the decision that will change our lives forever. We fully hand our hearts to Him and say "my life is no longer mine, but it belongs to You."

And it's in that moment that we put our hands in God's, help Him lock our hearts up with His, and, hand in hand, throw the key away, never to be found again.

It's a testament of His unconditional love. It's a witness to His eternal glory. It's a fulfillment of His faithfulness and His promises.

My heart is locked up within His. I've thrown away the key. I've decided that my life is not my own and it never will be just me. I'm in a covenant that's eternal. Nothing can separate what God has ordained.

Forever...it's me and Him.

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:35-39

What has been started, let NOTHING separate.

10 Months Down...1 More to Go!

Fri, 24 Jun 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Oh, gosh! I can't believe that I'm actually writing this right now!

I can still remember sitting down to watch the World Race Intro video and making the decision to step out in faith and apply. I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into, but I knew it could be the opportunity of a lifetime. So, now that the Race is winding down and this season is coming to a close, what, you ask, is on my mind?

1. Abandonment

This whole year has been about abandoning yourself to the things of God...His will, His plan, His voice. I can't imagine going back to my old life and not living in abandonment! I can't imagine living life how I used to now that I know His voice so clearly...now that I know discomfort to the point of being comfortable in it (YES, that was one of my goals!!!) I don't want it to stop! Ever!

2. Momentum

As close as it's getting to returning to the states, it's difficult to stay in ministry mode and not switch to home-planning mode. That's where momentum comes in extremely handy. It's our team name and, so far, has helped me almost weekly in staying focused on the Race while I'm still here. The closer we get to the end, the more I have to repeat this word to myself...it's getting to be almost daily. But, God still has me here in this season. It's not over and we still have so much more of the world to share Jesus with! Just keep moving, just keep pushing, just keep going!

3. Future

What does that even mean?! I have no idea. I don't know what's to come or even where I'm going to end up. But I do know the answer that is above all those things. My God. He's my future...and whatever that entails...I'll take it. I'm excited about what's to come...although, constantly trying to revert back to #2.

4. Uncertainty

This is where the "oh, crap, what in the heck is going to happen, who have I become, who are you US people, what is this US culture, crap, crap, crap!" reaction comes in handy. Am I really allowed to take a shower AND run a dishwasher AND wash my clothes AND water the lawn all at ONCE?? Can I really sit on this toilet? Is there really an entire aisle of frozen pizza to choose from?? What in the world do I choose to eat when I have a menu full of normal American appetizers, salads, soups, entrees, drinks AND desserts??? How am I supposed to function without 4 other people to live life with 24/7????? You don't know what feedback is...oh, gosh...

5. Change

Yeah, all of the above, plus more. I've always claimed that change is what pushes you to grow more. So, I guess this will be my chance to another season of growth. Well, bring it on. Because, here on the race, no day is the same...there are changes every minute...and when you're working for the Almighty God as your boss, He likes to change things up pretty often. So, I'm pretty used to this one.

So, here's to the last month of this 11 month journey! I'm excited to end this out in complete 1.Abandonment with 2.Momentum towards 5.Changing my 4.Uncertain 3.Future!

E F P T O Z

Mon, 20 Jun 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Well, I guess it's about time I post a blog pertaining to our actual ministry this month! Seeing as it's almost over again...Gosh, where has time gone?!

We are working with the MacDonald family this month. They're an American family with 12 kids...yes, that's not a typo...who work in Ukraine. There are still 5 kids who live here while the other 7 have grown up and moved back to the states. We've spent so much of our time just ministering to and living life with this family. It's, in a way, almost felt like we're back in the states with a missionary family.

On our ministry days, we help out at eye glass clinics. God opened up opportunities for Bruce, the dad, to purchase hundreds of glasses, travel around the country and work with churches to evangelize in their communities. We go to these eye glass clinics and help to evangelize.

The fact that 99.9% of the people here speak absolutely NO English has added a nice amount of difficulty to our job, but we find ways around it.

So, people in the surrounding communities come for free eye exams and a pair of glasses. In the process, either we or the church members, meet with the people coming and share the gospel message. Our jobs differ with each clinic and we tend to find the humor and fun in it each day.

At our first eye glass clinic, I was in charge of making tea for my team and pouring water for those coming in to receive glasses. We were tasked with taking pictures with the Ukrainians when they came out with their spiffy new glasses. Here's a picture of us modeling with one of the women.

Most of them were super excited to take pictures with the Americans. The church agreed to print the pictures off that night and have them available for church the next morning. It was this amazing way to get the people back for a service so that they could have their picture with us. So many people couldn't wait for the next morning and to come back to get their picture. Who knows how many of these will be hanging up around this country?!

At another clinic, Ashley and I sang back up for Bruce on the guitar...in a semi-Amish-sounding manner...it was slightly funny but everyone really enjoyed the music. I also had the chance to give my testimony and we spoke to the group about God's love and stories of His faithfulness that He's given us over the past year.

At another clinic, we took more pictures with the people, AND Ashley learned to play the accordion. The church was situated in the middle of hundreds of rose bushes and I spent a lot of my time taking pictures of the area surrounding the church.

So, life has been pretty laid back here. Ministry has been like a breath of fresh air. No more preaching or door to door ministry. Just simply talking to people, taking pictures and making them laugh.

It's good to know that just by living life with people, you can be a testament to the love of God!

Comforting Mini Me

Thu, 2 Jun 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Warning: This is a raw blog...but it's me.

When you come on a mission trip, especially one like this, you expect to meet people who you can pour into. And as much as that has happened this year, sometimes, you come across those who just want to pour out into you.

This month, we're with a family who has devoted themselves, in a very big way, to pouring into us.

We've been on the field for 10 months now...1 more to go after this month...we've seen devastation. We've witnessed injustices. Our hearts have been broken with others as theirs have broken. Our hearts have jumped in joy with those who celebrate. I've seen the best of this world...I've seen the worst of this world. I've experienced ill health, pain, home sickness, joy, excitement and utter joy. You name the emotion...I've probably had it over the last 10 months.

I've been stuck in hospitals with malaria and possible kidney failure. I've sat in people's houses as they've accepted Christ as their savior and cried tears of jubilation and excitement with them. I've seen little girls walk down prostitution streets with grown men, preached to crowds of hundreds, danced with whole high schools and prayed for, and seen, blind people see.

It breaks you down.

Down to your foundation.

At this point in the trip, we're all tired. I'm beginning to really think about how things will be back in the states and I'm starting the re-entry process by going through different steps to readjust to how things will be when my plane lands in NYC in less than 2 months.

In one way, I feel as if my gauge is reading "Empty." In another way, I feel like I still have so much to offer.

The truth is that I know I'm running low on energy.

This morning was difficult. I hit my "empty" mark. I got an email that took my breath away and took the last little bit out of my tank. I lay in my bed and let all of the emotion out. I didn't care anymore who was watching or what they were thinking. It's been easy just to hold it in and act strong. But I let it out. I shook down to my core...my foundations broke...walls broke.

And as a lay there, the little girl who's become my 3 year old mini-me, my little sister, my little princess...came up and asked Ashley if she was taking care of me. Ashley responded yes and she said, "Ok, good."

Several times, she came in to just look at me and check in without really even saying anything. I took some time just to be alone and work through my emotions. I had pulled myself together when she brought in some fresh baked banana bread and said, "This is for you...would you like it?"

I took it. She just smiled and walked away.

I didn't think much of it until after lunch when she came to get me and led me to her room. She asked me a simple question that really didn't have anything to do with me or her or...anything at all. "Can you buy me some starburst at the store?"

She told me she would share with me and take care of me.

In that moment, something broke in me. This 3 year old girl saw my pain and my brokenness. Although I wasn't an emotional mess anymore, she saw me in my vulnerability and loved me. She saw my brokenness and sought to make me feel better in the only way she knew how. She was just there and she wanted to take care of me.

It was so genuine and selfless...so innocent and loving.

A 3 year old girl filled up my tank today. She broke me down. She showed me that the simplest comment could build someone up despite the circumstances. She showed me Jesus and she may never know it.

I came on this trip to pour into people. I was poured into today. 10 months worth of pouring out...God used 1 little girl to fill it all up with His love, grace, care, concern, strength.

It made me think of having a child-like faith. She had no idea what was wrong or how to make things better, but she just wanted to be there. Unlike so many of us adults, and much like me, she didn't wanna control anything. She didn't wanna take the pain away or ignore it. She saw this completely raw side of me and just wanted to be there...no questions asked, no probing. She just wanted to share candy and take care of me.

I'm not sure why it hit me like it did or why it poured so much refreshing energy into me, but it did. I guess it was one of those instances where God just decides to speak in a new way. It wasn't the wind, it wasn't the rain...it was my comforting mini me.

Thank God for "little" reminders of His comfort and His refreshing power when we're at our lowest. Literally...little.

Highway to Hell

Tue, 24 May 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Travel days have been known to be stressful. Imagine 30+ people traveling together from one country to another to another, all while staying organized and loving towards each other and functioning on little to no sleep. It's fun...right?? No.

Or so we thought. Compared to our travel day at the beginning of this month, 24 hour travel days are simple and heavenly!

We began our travel day at 10 am one morning. The first group left to head to the airport and catch their flight from Hyderabad to Delhi, India. This was the easy part of the travel day! They arrived to the airport prepared for the next two groups to arrive within 22 hours of the start of their own day.

I was in the second group as we headed to the airport. As soon as we arrived, we were told that our bus couldn't' take us any farther and that we'd have to catch the airport shuttle. So we heave-hoed all of our packs from one bus to the next (thank God for our men!!!) and hopped on the shuttle. We got into the airport, through check-in and security and took a few minutes for a quick bite to eat. This ended up being the most amazing meal that we'd get for the next 60 hours! Our new team stopped at a Pizza Hut and ordered personal pan pizzas with garlic bread. Can you say YUM!?!

So we boarded the plane and headed off for a 2 hour flight. When we arrived in Delhi, the first group of our squad met us and took us over to a secluded part of baggage claim where they'd camped out. At this point, they'd been there for around 8 hours. They'd unpacked their sleeping pads, sleeping bags and pillows. Before we knew it, there were 20 sleeping pads lying in the middle of the floor near baggage claim. The staff refused to let us out of the airport and back in, so we were without food or drinks. Massive dinosaur mosquitoes swarmed where we were, but we've all gotten quite used to crazy situations, so we all got comfortable and ended up falling asleep.

All the while, airport security would come over every 20 minutes and check on us. They never once said anything to us about camping in the airport, so we stayed despite their stares and radio conversations. At one point, they sent in a drug sniffing dog and went throughout our group sniffing out our bags. Once again, no words were shared. They went along with their business of checking out 20 suspicious looking 20 year olds and we slept.

At 6, we all awoke and prepared for our last group's arrival. We got cleaned up in the bathroom of baggage claim, finally walked outside and found some quick food. Our bus arrived that would take us from Delhi to Kathmandu, Nepal and we began to load our stuff. When we had all boarded, we found out that the estimated time of travel that the travel agency had given us, 15 hours, turned into 30+ hours. Great!

So we set off. I grabbed a good 450 page book and began reading. We stopped at McDonald's for lunch (amazing!!) but because we didn't expect to still be in India, we were short on Indian cash and had to put all our personal and team money together to afford lunch.

We headed off, once again. We were able to stop along the side of the road and see the Taj Mahal! Beautiful from 2 miles away, I must say!

Then we got back on the bus, again, and began to drive, again. Later that night, around 9, we stopped in this random side of the road restaurant with Hindu god paintings all along the walls. We ordered some decent food and loaded back on the bus for a night of driving. This is where the fun started...if we weren't having fun already...

Around 11 pm, our bus came to a quick halt for a truck that had backed out into the highway...not unusual in foreign countries. We were stopped for a good 30 seconds and ready to continue when what felt like a bomb hit us. It ended up being a semi truck that had plowed into the back of us going full steam ahead. The back window of the bus shattered and it sent glass into the interior of the bus. One of our girls who'd been sleeping on the packs in the back seat went flying forward. It could have been much worse.

The bus driver found a way to rig the back of the bus closed and secured the rest of the bags in the lower compartment from falling out.

And we drove on.

No glass window in the back of the bus...on our 15^th hour of travel...exhausted and sleep deprived...and we had only begun!

At some point that night, I finished my 450 page book and had started the next book. I got a little bit of sleep huddled in between 2 seats, with a travel pillow and an achy neck from being rear ended by a semi truck...yay!

I woke up the next morning at some point as we continued to drive. The driver was still driving and hadn't really taken any breaks. We drove on, never-ending, until we saw a sign for the border of Nepal in 5 km. What should have taken 5 minutes to get to took over 5 hours. I'm not sure what happened to the border, but we arrived at a restaurant in the middle of nowhere around 3 pm and got some food, boarded the bus again, and drove on.

We finally arrived in Nepal, boarded a new, slightly nasty, bus and drove on. They told us we'd arrive in Kathmandu around 4 or 5 the next morning. That night was a blur for me. I just remember freezing and being so sleep deprived that despite the discomfort and the pain in my body, I slept super hard.

When we arrived in Kathmandu, our bus drivers decided that they didn't feel like taking us to our hostel. They argued with us and our contact for a good 45 minutes before deciding to take us straight to the bus park so that we could figure out what to do from there. Lovely!

We pulled into the bus park, 10 km past where we were supposed to be dropped off, and argued with the driver for awhile. He wanted more money to release our bags to us. He held them hostage for about an hour until we got the bus company on the phone. We unloaded our bags and climbed onto the next bus to take us to our hostel.

When we arrived 45 minutes later, I don't remember much besides crashing on my bed for hours with complete exhaustion. Over 67 hours from the time when we began our travel day, we made it to Nepal. Crazy!

I don't think I'll ever complain about another travel day from here on out. I can't imagine that the next 2 months will hold travel days worse than this one, but at this point, I'm open for anything. But, my hope is that this was the hardest we'll see on the trip! Only 3 more to go on this race...now that's crazy!

Hooked on Nepalese F-onics

Tue, 24 May 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Nepal.

I have come to adore Nepal. The people. The food. The environment. It's beautiful.

I will be honest and say that I originally wanted to be in the mountains of Nepal for ministry this month. It's not every day that you visit, let alone live in, the country with the biggest mountain in the world! So when I found out we'd be in a little village 13 hours from any mountains, I was slightly disappointed. But we left from Kathmandu one evening and our journey to our next ministry continued.

We were dropped off at a street corner that was supposedly a "bus stop," or so they said...

We spent 2 hours playing guitar and singing random lyrics. Tricia grabbed Andrew's hat and passed it around to make some money. We made a total of 27 rupees that night! Only about 38 cents in America...but, hey, now I can say we sang money on a Nepalese street for rupees one night!

When our bus finally arrived, we climbed on the worst bus I've ever experienced. Having super long legs didn't serve me well over the next 16 hours as we sat in traffic, got held up behind a massive accident and stopped at random times for no reason at all. What was supposed to take 13 hours took far too long and when we finally arrived in our village, we were all completely exhausted.

We arrived in our village, and I immediately found our room and collapsed on my bed. The next few hours and days were a blur because of the exhaustion we were all feeling. I hadn't realized until this month what 8 straight months of ministry will do to a person without any time for personal rest. But slowly, I began to catch up on rest and got into the swing of ministry again. We had several days of door to door evangelism and then we moved into working with a local school where one of our translators worked.

We would leave our place at 5:30 am, walk to the school, and teach from around 6 until 10 am. I got put with a class that eventually got nicknamed "the mustaches." It was relative to a class of seniors in high school back in the states. After an awkward introduction, I started going over pronunciation with them...much like hooked on phonics. At first, they looked at me awkwardly, but after going through several letters, ,they caught on and in just a few minutes, we were all laughing hysterically.

Imagine 20 high school students saying "F is like ff, ff, ff, like ff-fish" or "I is like ii, ii, ii, like ii-igloo."

On a whim, I came up with a game to test their pronunciation and set the girls up against the boys. They competed for a good hour before the boys came back from a huge deficit in points and took the win from the girls. They loved it!

We spent the rest of the time talking about life in Nepal vs. life in America. I answered so many questions about the percentage of agriculturists in the states and the outlook on jobs. It was funny how their questions were so unique to the culture that they live here.

I realized in those few hours and over the next few days how much I really LOVE teaching. It came more naturally than it even has before and I had a blast with the students. It was amazing to go in and hear how they were speaking and leave hearing them speak more correct and with a much better pronunciation! It was something so simple, yet so rewarding!

Over the next few days, we returned to the school to continue teaching. I took on an afternoon class of 5^th graders and, once again, fell in love with them.

I hope that they got something out of the lessons that I brought in, but I know, without a doubt, that I left those classes with a reawakening of my desire to teach. I've come to the realization that it really is something I excel in and it's something I truly love to do.

So much so that on the second to last day, I made my team (my amazing, generous, incredible team!!) get up at 5:30 again to say goodbye to the students and teach one last class. The experience definitely touched me and it's something I won't long forget.

When Bitterness Takes Root

Tue, 24 May 2011 00:00:00 GMT

After last month, I went into this month not sure what to expect. With a crazy 60+ hour trip to Kathmandu, a new team, another crappy 16 hour ride to our ministry location and the knowledge that we were on the final leg of our race, I was honestly nervous. I was at a place of just wanting to quit, although I knew that the things I wanted to run from would still be there even if I went somewhere else or returned home from the race.

So, as hesitant as I was to continue, I knew that God hadn't released me to quit. So we settled into our ministry for the month.

But I realized about a week into the month that I had built up so much bitterness and resentment towards God because of all of the personal stuff I was dealing with and the stress of the race itself. As my team entered into a time of worship, I found that my heart was cold towards God and that I had absolutely no desire to talk to, sing to, or to pursue or even have Him pursue me. My passion was gone, my heart was gone, my drive was gone. I was angry and bitter and just wanted to turn my back and "get through" the next 3 months so that I could stop missions and do something else.

But, sometimes, that's what teams are for.

I was partially honest with my team about where I was spiritually, but that night, I realized how much it was actually affecting them. They spent a good amount of time delving into why I was so closed off and bitter towards God. When we reached the root, they stood by me, without judgment, without seeking to fix it and without pity.

I didn't realize it until the next morning, but they had broken me. I began to deal with my bitterness and brokenness from the root of the issue and took steps throughout the week to resolve in my own heart what I was struggling with.

I can say at this point that as I dealt with the root of my bitterness, my bitterness towards God subsided. It continues to. At this very moment, I sit here listening to my own worship music and truly desiring to seek and hear from God. My passion for Him continues to elevate each day and I'm getting back to a point of pure satisfaction in Him alone.

I never imagined that bitterness in my own life towards things or people would cause so much bitterness to take root against my King. It changed my entire perspective of Him and His promises to me. As much as it was a dry period, I'm grateful to know that it's only by His grace that He's called me back and used the people around me to be instrumental in that. It opens my eyes to how bitterness really can take root and affect your entire life.

But God has taken that bitterness and replaced it with a seed that will bear much fruit. No longer am I rooted in anger or bitterness, but in love and peace...or at least it's beginning to take root.

He's good...my Gardener is good!

Divine Bus Appointment

Tue, 24 May 2011 00:00:00 GMT

We had hiked 1 km to the bus stop to head back to Kathmandu. I was drenched in sweat from the 100 degree weather and super irritated at life in general...ready to get on the bus and start the decent back to the city. As our men loaded our bags on the bus, a passenger on the bus began talking to me. He asked what we were doing and what organization we were with. After a few minutes, he found out that we were missionaries and requested that one of us speak to him during the ride. He said that he was thirsty for the truth and he wanted to know if Jesus really was the way.

I had heard about past racers experiencing times when they went to a country to specifically touch 1 person. I remember asking myself if this was my "1 person" encounter?

We finally filed onto the bus and took our seats. Samara took a seat next to me and we got comfortable for the 13 hour drive ahead. I had forgotten about the man until he came up and asked who he could speak to about Jesus. Nobody stepped up, so I asked him if he could sit next to Samara and I and talk. He jumped at the chance and took a seat immediately.

He explained why he had so much interest in Christianity with a part of his own story. He had served in the Nepal Air Force for years until he was hit by a bullet that got lodged in his spinal cord. In that moment of being hit, he prayed to Allah, Buddha, his Hindu Gods and Jesus asking for someone to save him. He trusted that one of them was the true God and he was willing to trust in any because he didn't know which one was truly real. That day, he had surgery to remove the bullet and ended up making a full recovery without any complications.

That same day, he set out to find the god who had healed him. He had grown up in the Hindu religion, but he had remembered seeing Christians throughout his life who had fully devoted themselves to God. When he was told that we were Christian missionaries, he decided to take his opportunity and find out more about this Jesus man.

Samara told him about the gospel, from the beginning to the end, including the fall of man, Jewish law, the sacrifice of Christ, His grace and the abolishment of the law. He was mesmerized. He said that it touched his heart that this perfect man would give his life for all men, including him, who was naturally full of sin and imperfect.

I explained to him that with Christ, you get a relationship with a living, breathing God. He was amazed that this son of God wanted to have a relationship with him and was fully capable of healing, forgiving, and restoring unlike the gods he had always heard about and worshipped.

He asked several more questions and then asked us to show him the way to Christ. He wanted to know what to do to have a relationship with him. After we explained that he just needed to ask and reassured him that we believed we were on that bus with him to be Jesus-with-skin-on to him, he was satisfied with our answers.

He thanked us repeatedly, told us we were angels sent to tell him about Christ, and we all exchanged email addresses. I'm looking forward to hearing from him and seeing how things are going as he continues to search or in this possible new decision he's made to follow Christ.

I realized on that bus that sometimes we're sent to the most ambiguous places in this world to talk to 1 person. Just 1. God cares about the 1 person. God calls 1 person at a time. That night, we were called to be Jesus to 1 man.

As difficult as our month seemed to be at times, I believe that the night on the bus was a true God encounter.

And I love that even in my brokenness and distance from God, He chose me to show another His grace and mercy. How gracious of a God we serve! It overwhelms me!

Goodbye India...Hello Momentum!

Mon, 2 May 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Whoa! It's been over a month since my last post! I can't believe how much time has flown...

India was an incredible experience. It was a very rough month for me, personally, but the ministry was phenomenal! We arrived in our village that had never heard the name of Jesus and 2 weeks later when we left, several people had accepted Christ, 1 had been baptized and we had started construction on the church! When we left, the church was almost completed and we had our first Sunday service for the village! I would have pictures, but my camera has been having serious issues...blah...so hopefully this month will be much more full of visuals for you!

But, it was incredible to make that much of an impact in the village and to leave knowing that God's love and power had transformed a small little village in the middle of India.

After our ministry, we arrived to Hyderbad with the rest of the "Q" and to debrief. I decided to step out of leadership and had the last few days with my team. Then...team changes!! My new team consists of...

We are officially Team Momentum!

We're ready to finish this race out with energy and momentum...giving everything we have for the here and now...committing to love Nepal, Ukraine and Romania as much as the first 8 countries! Pray for our new team as we head out this month to another village in Nepal.

We'll be doing a lot of evangelism and teaching within nearby churches and schools. It should be another month of getting to know the culture, bringing God's love to a Hindu people and being pushed individually in a LOT of different ways! We'll be without internet, so it may be awhile before new blogs are posted again. :)

Holy Cow...We're Planting a Church!

Fri, 1 Apr 2011 00:00:00 GMT

So after 4 flights, 4 countries and 3 bus rides in 3 days, we have arrived in India!

This month, we're working with India Christian Ministries, ICM, (which is an absolutely incredible ministry!) this month. I knew that God had something special in store in India and it looks like this is gonna be a month full of seeing God's power and grace at work!

We're gonna be evangelizing to a local village that hasn't heard the gospel with the intention of planting a church by the end of the month! This is something that is new territory for World Race teams but we're working on partnering with this ministry long term to spread the gospel throughout this area of India.

So, tomorrow, our team, along with Team Spare Ribs, will be leaving for a small village in the middle of India. We're unsure of village specifics, but we'll be camping out in our tents, using the field as a bathroom and hosting our own church services under a tree for the month. We'll be evangelizing and putting on children's programs during the day and hosting Bible Studies each night. We'll be there to lead people into a relationship with Christ and baptize them in the local water reservoir next to the water buffalos here!

The final goal is to get a church building built in order for the village to continue having church meetings after we leave. ICM is responsible for the cost of raising up local pastors and employing them to go into their villages to build relationships with the locals and begin to open up the doors for evangelism. We're being sent in to complete the work that has been started and get a church established. We'll be living life with these people and infusing our faith and ourselves into their way of life. I'm super stoked!!

It seems like such a small thing, but in the reality of Heaven, it's huge! We're literally bringing the Kingdom of God to a small village in India so that people can know and believe in a God that loves them more than they could ever imagine! At this moment, my heart is beating for these people we're about to encounter and my spirit is interceding on their behalf. I can't believe that I've been given the opportunity to be a part of this church planting to bring Jesus to a people who need Him so desperately!

But, this here's where you can come in to join with us...

ICM has opened the doors for us to come in. They've set the stage. We're going to bring Jesus. We believe that God is going to move like He has in several other villages in this area of the country. We believe that people are going to fall to their knees with adoration for the King and abandon their lives for the sake of the Gospel. We believe that God has placed us here for a reason and that our presence for 1 month will impact generations to come with the love of Christ. And we trust that God will continue to provide what is needed to accomplish this goal.

With 2 teams involved in this ministry this month, we each need to raise $200. To establish a church here in India, it's a simple amount which includes the church structure, the pulpit, the PA system and a drum for worship. With a simple church structure, past has shown that people begin to come from all over the village to find out about this Jesus guy. We want to give this village the opportunity to know the one true God!

My team and I are trusting that God is going to do major things in the coming weeks as we trust and believe Him to work in this village. Would you partner with us in prayer, faith and support as we bring the gospel?

You can go to India Christian Ministries' website and scroll down to the PayPal button on the right side of the page. The funds will go directly to ICM instead of AIM so that the supplies can be purchased and building can begin.

This is, by far, one of the most exciting ministries I've been able to be a part of on the Race! I'm so stinkin' excited about starting that it's hard to contain at times. Help us by being part of this ministry in a way that will have eternal benefits!

Nile Rapids, Demons and Bungee Ropes...Part 1

Sat, 26 Mar 2011 00:00:00 GMT

On Friday afternoon, I walked out of the classroom I've been teaching in and breathed in a giant sigh of satisfaction. It was one of those moments that I remember experiencing as a kid...the first minutes of Spring Break! It's a feeling of relief, relaxation and excitement all tied up together. And although I knew my World Race Spring Break would only last 2.5 days with a ministry day in the middle of it, I was ready to step away for that amount of time and just refresh myself.

We left our contact's house early that afternoon and boarded a bus for Kampala. We arrived and quickly began to catch up with the rest of the "Q." I spent the evening dancing around to random music, eating chocolate, and having fun with my old Hephzibah girls. We crowded around a small table in our hostel and joked around till almost 1 in the morning. When I finally got to bed, I knew that I'd have to get up early at 6 am to prepare for the day...white water rafting on class 5 rapids down the Nile River!

So the alarm woke me up and I dragged myself out of bed. We ate a quick breakfast and boarded the bus that would take us to the river. 3 hours later, we arrived at Adrift Rafting. All of the girls made a quick bathroom break along the side of the road...which has become quite normal...we've gotten over bashfulness since the beginning of the trip. When you gotta go, you gotta go!

They handed us our helmets and our lifejackets. After we took our raft team picture, we headed down this massively steep hill towards the river. Several people slipped down the mud and fell...I shortly realized that the muddy hill would be the least of our worries.

We boarded our boats and took our positions to row out into the river. Our raft guide, Ollo, took us through several drills to train us for what was to come throughout the day. At one point, he tipped us over in the boat and I ended up under the boat. After panicking for a minute, I popped out and questioned why in the world I agreed to do this in the first place...and we were just in the training portion of the day!

Ollo decided that our raft was ready to start down the river, so he commanded us "forward, hard." We rowed ourselves to the first rapid which consisted of a lot of rocks and a 16 ft. waterfall! As we watched 2 rafts go down and flip over, leaving all of the participants floating in the rapids, I once again questioned my judgment and wondered why in heck I had agreed to this...and paid for it!

But Ollo was ready to go, so he gave the next command to our team and we started toward the rapids. As we rafted down the first part, we stopped at a few rocks where we could look down and see the drop we were about to take. The next command was given and we inched forward over the waterfall and suddenly plummeted down. With a massive wall in front of us, Ollo yelled to get down. Our raft literally went vertical and I held on for dear life. I could see the waves and the rapids everywhere below me. At one point, I must have closed my eyes because I expected to hit water and be stuck under the waves. But, suddenly, everything went bright and I realized that we had made it down the 16 ft. drop and had somehow turned the raft horizontal again!

So we floated through the rest of the rapid and approached calm waters. I was ready for more! Ollo told us a story of some Australian women floating on his raft naked through the rapids, so we decided that our team name would be "Team Naked."

So we floated down to the next rapid as Team Naked and conquered it as well. On the third rapid of the day, we lost 4 of our people who ended up down the river and in the rescue boat. I still hadn't fallen out and I was praying to God that we would make it through the day without flipping.

We finally made it to lunch and rowed out to an island with this amazing view of the Nile Valley. We ate American sandwiches with guacamole which may have been the best meal I've had in a really long time!

As we got back into the raft, Ollo warned us that the morning had been easy compared to the class 4 and 5's we'd experience coming up. I prayed again as we rowed towards the next set of rapids, a class 5. Ollo began to yell out his commands, "forward, forward hard, hard, harder, harder, HARDER!" But this time, we weren't able to conquer the rapid. The raft went vertical and continued to flip over, throwing us all in different directions. I ended up under the raft, hitting the top 4 different times and panicking for air until I popped out on the side. I took one massive gasp for air and was hit from behind with a massive rapid. As I came up again, I was hit, once again, with a rapid from behind. It pushed me around under the water for a few seconds and I finally made it back to the top again. Katie yelled my name, grabbed my hand and pulled me to the kayak...heaven-sent just for us!

I had swallowed so much water and been under for such a long period of time that it took me awhile to breathe normal again. We finally made it from the kayak to a princess raft and back to our raft. We prepared, again, for the next rapid...a class 4. I was so nervous that I'd end up under the raft fighting for air again, but I didn't have any other choice but to continue on. So I grabbed my oar and began "forward!"

We approached the rapid and I knew we were in for another fight. As soon as we went down the first fall, our raft went vertical again and we held on for dear life. As I looked up, I realized that the daylight was closing in and we were flipping into the water. I was stuck under the raft again, but for a brief second before I popped out on the side. I looked behind me and prepared for the on-coming waves. I decided to relax and just float through, so I raised my nose and my toes out of the water and floated on my back. As I looked forward, I realized that the rapids ahead of me were much bigger than I had first anticipated. I looked behind for help and a kayaker was coming full-speed ahead to rescue me before the next set of rapids. I grabbed a hold of his kayak as he asked me if I was ok. I responded yes and he quickly yelled back, "keep your feet up, do not kick and hold on!!"

I was like "crap, there's more!" and braced for the worst. I rode through the rapids being dragged forward by a small one-man kayak! It was pretty intense but they brought us back to our raft and our team joined together again to fight the next rapids.

We made it through the last 2 rapids successfully and didn't lose any of the team. After the last rapid, Ollo threw a few of us into the water and the rest proceeded to jump in after us all. We swam the last bit of the Nile before we headed to the shore to end out the day.

I had several last thoughts of the day before I hit my pillow that night:

1. I'm glad I rafted the Nile, but I probably won't do it again.

2. I definitely don't want to die by drowning.

3. Rowing 33 km after not working out for months is killer to your body!

4. I FREAKIN' LOVE MY LIFE!!!!

Stay tuned...my Spring Break stories are nowhere near over! More stories of casting out demons and bungee jumping into the Nile to come...

Nile Rapids, Demons and Bungee Ropes...Part 2

Sat, 26 Mar 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Whoa, how time flies when you don't have internet access and very little electricity for charging your electronics! So, I'm going to finish this blog that was intended for 3 parts in only 1 more part. Yay!

After the crazy rapid ride, we went to a seminar the next night about demon possession and spiritual warfare. One of the teams had been working within a school and had come across demon possessed girls on 2 separate accounts. They stayed for several hours, casting out demons and praying for the girls. If you read one of my squad mates' blogs (Samara and Kelsie), you can read more about what led to this seminar.

So a few of us arrived to this Ugandan "seminar," which was pretty much just a Q & A session. The woman who hosted the seminar was working with one of the teams and wanted to give us all an opportunity to ask about anything having to do with demon possession and spiritual warfare. As people were asking questions and the pastor was answering, 2 women kept trying to get up and leave. Apparently, the pastor knew something was up because she would command them "sit back down, I'll get to you soon," and they would sit back again.

At the end, everyone began to disperse and go home. I suddenly heard a scream and looked over to one of the two women manifesting a demon right before us. She had walked up to the pastor to ask for prayer and the demon began to scream and get very physical. They got her to the ground and I don't even know how to describe it. A few people went over to help hold her down as she was trying to bite, kick and punch anything around her. I stayed back with a few of the other people on the squad to watch and worship. I figured I'd be safe on the outside of the action.

Suddenly, my squad leader yelled to me to come move a bag out of the way of another girl, the second girl who'd wanted to leave, as she was manifesting. I grabbed the bag and my immediate reaction was to get away. I didn't wanna get involved. I had never witnessed for myself how demons manifested and I just wasn't sure what to expect. But just as I decided to run back to my worship circle, Tricia called me back and asked me to help hold her down. So I grabbed her arm, pinned it down and began praying. It was super intense. She was screaming, her eyes kept rolling back into her head and she kept squirming. At one point, 5 people were trying to hold her down and she was still moving. After some time, she came to and a few of the squad people stayed with her to minister to her and pray with her.

The original girl continued to manifest and it got more and more intense. Each time they brought the Bibles out, the demons would scream and beg us not to use them. It was an intense battle that took several hours of intercession, warfare and worship. At one point, the demon even pointed up and said "No, not you!! Why did they send you??" We asked her who she was talking about and she responded with Michael. It was crazy.

After getting over my initial fear, I ended up resting in the holy presence that filled the room. The Holy Spirit was definitely there with us! We continued to worship as a select few spoke directly to the demons. When they brought out the annointing oil, the demon finally left and the entire demeanor of the girl changed.

She sat up slowly and realized that she had oil all over her face. She had no idea what it was, where she was or what had just happened over the last 3 hours. She immediately began to cry and praise God for setting her free.

There's a long story that goes into why she was being possessed and it was linked closely with the school that the girls had been working with. The kicker was that she was a Christian...but I won't go into debate here. :)

So, that ended our 2nd day of our World Race Spring Break!

The next day, we got up early to meet the rest of the squad and headed back out to the Nile to bungee jump! I had committed to myself to jump alone and dive off. As I climbed the tower, I was actually fine. I went up with the first group and coached 2 of the girls as we waited for our turns. When I was next, I walked out, got my ankles tied up, chatted with the guys up there and walked to the ledge. Up until this point, I was perfectly content. I could feel my adrenaline pumping, but I was ready to jump and super excited.

I had my eyes as they inched me towards the ledge because they tell everyone not to look down. The instance I touched the end of the ledge, I flipped out. I don't know what happened, but fear overwhelmed me which was super crappy. They sat me back down and my teammate, Amy, offered to jump with me.

So we went together. I didn't get to go alone and I didn't dive off...BUT I bungee jumped over the Nile. It's one thing that I've always said I would never do, so in that, I'm stinkin' proud of myself! If I get the chance to do it again, I may do it since I know what to expect...but I wouldn't count on it. :)

So, that wrapped our 3 days of craziness in Uganda! It was a weekend that completely defined the randomness of the World Race...spontaneity, conquering fears and taking risks.

Door to Door Salvation

Mon, 14 Mar 2011 00:00:00 GMT

In Kenya, I hated door to door evangelism. It's one of the things that made my month super long and difficult, but with everything that God convicted me of at the end of that month (you can read it about it here), I went into this month with a much better attitude.

On the second day of our door to door ministry, Taylor, Brian, Christina and I started out by praying for 4 guys on the side of the road. God gave me the story of Peter walking on water and I shared it with the men. I talked to them about having the faith to step out of their comforts, trust God and call out to Jesus as soon as they needed help. They told us that they were all out of work and needed employment soon. We prayed with them and asked God to show up in ways that they didn't expect.

The next day as I was preparing to go to another ministry site, I got a text that all 4 of the men had been hired! They were ecstatic and kept saying "Praise God, Praise God!" I don't think it's coincidence that all 4 of the men received jobs less than 24 hours after we prayed for them. I think God had us in the right place at the right time and because we were willing to listen to His leading, others were completely blessed by His outpouring. Praise God!

We separated right after that and Christina and I ended up at a house with a woman who was a housemaid. Her name was Clementine and she said she was a Catholic. She wasn't sure why God loved her, or even if He did, so we explained His love for her and God gave me a very specific message for her about Him seeing her as his beloved daughter just waiting for her to raise her arms up and take hold of her in a comforting embrace. She was super receptive and ended up giving her life to Christ!

On the next day of our door to door ministry, Christina and I decided to go back to visit Clementine. She was overjoyed to see us again and we sat with her for over an hour encouraging her and finding out about her dreams and desires. She works for less than $10 per month and sends all of the money to her family that she hasn't been allowed to see for over a year. She raises the children because the mother only comes home for a day each month. She doesn't have freedom to leave the house and come to church. She's responsible for pretty much taking care of any and every need of anyone in the house at anytime. She has the dream of opening a restaurant when she gets out of this line of work, although it's not usual for that to happen. Had we been able to, we would have walked her out of the gates and given her a building for her to begin her dreams in. Instead, we had to leave knowing that God holds her and her dreams in His hand. She was still beaming as we left and I know that God has incredible plans for her! If you're reading this, please pray for Clementine and for God to supply her needs and desires.

We talked to 2 other people at the last house we went to and after listening to God's leading, shared all about Jesus to this woman and man who'd never heard His name before. They both ended up accepting Christ as well!

It's absolutely incredible to know that God has you specifically where you are for a reason! And to be a part of the beginning of the rest of someone's eternity!

I'm so grateful that God has given me another opportunity to embrace this kind of ministry. It's been well worth it and we'll have 3 more brothers and sisters in Heaven because we were simply willing.

Let me encourage you to do the same...be willing and open to where God wants you to go and what He wants you to say to the people around you. You never know how He'll speak through you and use you to fulfill His incredible purposes!

24, 25, 26...

Mon, 14 Mar 2011 00:00:00 GMT

On March 6^th, 1985...I came into this world screaming like a maniac...I surprised the doctors and my parents because I was supposed to be "Michael," the son of the Baird's. But the doctor handed me to my parents and immediately it didn't matter. I became "Jennilee," the beloved daughter of the Baird's.

On March 6^th, 2011...I turned 26. I woke up on an uncomfortable bed in the middle of Uganda to a breakfast of bananas and bread with honey. I was supposed to have a different life...I had my own plans about life and where I'd be at the age of 26...but God had other plans. What Satan thought would destroy me over the last 26 years, God knew would bring me to a place of true identity, freedom, and adventure! When I believed that my "names" were fearful, scared, quiet and angry...God knew that I would one day be called Fearless, Courageous, and Powerful...He knew that I would decide to live a life of honor and He knew that I would find my Voice!

But this blog isn't about God changing our names (although it's something I completely believe in and I love to see the process in people's lives!) and it's not about starting new seasons or growing up. It's about the fact that I got to spend it with people I love and I got to experience a country in Africa for my birthday.

I sat down with my team for breakfast and was enlightened by Stefan...even though I officially turned 26, I was actually beginning my 27^th year on this earth...which made me feel super old for a minute or two, until Christina reminded me that the prime of life is 25 to 35...so I'm just beginning!

We spent the first part of the day in church. We sang English worship songs...wait...did you read that...English (amen!). We danced around for nearly an hour, twirled in circles, raised the roof and got low. Immediately afterwards, we hopped on a Matatu and headed out to Kampala which is about an hour away. I had spotted a place earlier in the week that advertised Thai food and an ice skating rink! Heck yes!

We got off the Matatu and found our way to Alleygator's...home of an ice skating rink, a bowling alley, arcade games and more! As we walked in, we spotted the ice rink and realized quickly that the floor was pure rubber. I was super puzzled until one of my teammates pointed to roller-skates in the corner of the "ice rink." No wonder it wasn't cold at all in that building! I still think it would have been incredible to go ice skating in the middle of Africa!

So we decided to go to the bowling alley and play a game. Stefan graciously charmed the bartender into giving me a free Mt. Dew. We did a round or 2 of crazy bowl but we were doing bad enough without the crazy, so we ended up just trying to hit the pins in the normal way...still didn't work well. I think I ended up with a score in the 70's. Go me!

Then we went on a hunt for a cheap, yet nice restaurant. Thai and Mexican were both super expensive...as was everything else. But we ended up at an amazing pizza parlor. They brought me out a Tiramisu and a laptop that played "Happy Birthday", "He's a Jolly Good Fellow" and "You're 21 now!"

Right as we were finishing off the Tiramisu, the manager brought his laptop back out and told us he wanted to share a video with us. I was half expecting something that had to do with a birthday...and I guess, in a way, it did. But it ended up being a video of...

**drum roll**

A bunch of Ugandans dancing and breaking it down in preparation for the circumcision ritual. I've never seen so many 60 year old women and men...squawking and moving like chickens and dogs in heat. It was absolutely hysterical and definitely the best way to end the day!

All that to say that my birthday was awesome! Definitely not what I expected, but totally spontaneous and full of surprises. It was incredible to spend a birthday halfway across the world with people I love. It was super encouraging to get notes and letters and emails from home! As much as I missed everyone back home, it was amazing knowing that this year will be different for me because I left home 6 months ago. I can't wait to see what this year brings! I'm so excited to finish out this race and get home to experience the rest of it with everyone in the US!

Until then, I'll just spend the first 5 months of age 26 in Africa, Asia and Europe! Praise the Lord for surprises and His plans instead of mine!

Ugandan Youth Questions

Mon, 14 Mar 2011 00:00:00 GMT

This past Tuesday, we were given the opportunity to speak at a high school. We awkwardly met the headmaster...which is somehow always awkward here in Uganda...and then walked into a classroom with 70 or so students. I opened up the morning with a short message about David in his youth and how God sees more potential in them than they or anyone else can imagine. Then we passed out paper to all of the students and asked them to write anonymous questions...about life, death, God, the Bible, Jesus, us...anything.

Afterwards they folded up their slips of paper and tossed them to the front for us to read. As soon as all the paper had been thrown in, we began to open questions and answer them. The first one we opened asked this: If a person dies, where does their soul go if they haven't been praising God? This fell under Taylor's territory, so he explained the answer biblically and moved onto the next one: When you reach the age of marriage, what do you do? The team pointed to me and said, "You're old, you'll know this one!" So I took it and had so much fun trying to figure out an answer that was appropriate.

We were off to an amazing start and their questions seemed legitimate. We got to about 10 slips of paper before we ran out of time. But I wanted to share with all of you the questions that were posed to us. I was impressed by so many of them. Our team's hope is to answer them all and take all of the answers back to the school if we don't have the opportunity to talk to them again. If you read one that you'd like to give some input to, please do!

So, without further ado, here they are!

What is a Christian?

What is a parable?

What is a sin?

We children, we want to eat at school and we lack school fees, but we like God so much and we used to pray to God but He never gives us what we want.

It's true that mob justice is bad in my church bible and why is it bad?

How will I find my future job?

How will I be able to complete my future studies? How will my parents be able to pay my fees and all requirements that I need?

Give me one scripture in the Bible which allows women to preach the gospel to God and even wear trousers. (oops...that was me that day!)

How can I pass my exams and join a good secondary school?

How can I protect myself before marriage?

We students, we lack Bibles. What do we do? We don't have money. Help us.

I want to study up to university but my parents do not have enough money. Can you help?

What can I do to stop back sliding?

What can I do to become a true Muslim?

Did Moses succeed with his journey?

When will the world end?

Give reasons how I spend my future.

If I want to become born again, what can I do?

I had a very big problem about money for registration and school fee, but I just kindly requesting you to pay for me so that I can be able to do my exams.

Where or when did God leave the world?

Where are you coming from?

Where do you live?

My parents are very poor; may you pay for school fees?

Would you take me to the US?

I don't want to get married, but why do people get married?

For me, I want to sing for God forever and ever, but what can I do?

What can I do so that I do not backslide in faith?

Is a saved person allowed to pray from another Christian church like a catholic church?

I've always had a hard time in life...the world crumbling down on me, having no hope, through misery, suffering and no rescue; always called on to God, but there was no answer, my wounds still bleed and no medication for cure. How can I then know that the Lord exists, yet He doesn't come out to help? (I wish I knew who this kid was!)

Why is gospel spread into the world?

I want each of you to tell us your age.

What does the word of God mean?

How can I be successful in life?

Why did you decide to follow Jesus?

Why do Christians fight with Muslims?

Will my life be changed if I enter God's family?

How will you get a future life?

What is the meaning of the word "life?"

What did Samson do when he was captured?

How will I find my future 6 years to come?

What hope is there for dead loved ones?

Is there any hope that I will one day visit USA?

Give me one reason why God is peaceful life.

Who will we be in our futures?

Do you have a husband?

Is true love started in Britain? Why not in Africa?

Is it true that gospel is only for the whites?

Give us your phone number.

If I am not a born again, will I enter in the Kingdom of the Almighty God?

Why do people have abortions?

How can a human being find or get faith?

Why is it that in Uganda, we have many street kids compared to your backslide countries?

At what age is a girl supposed to have a boy friend or at what age is a boy supposed to have a girlfriend?

How will I survive in future if I fail to get jobs?

How will I find my future job?

What is a sin?

Who is a sinner?

Where do we find all of you?

Discus for me the life after death and is it joyful?

How old are you?

What would happen if I marry, like, 6 wives?

Can God help me in each and everything? If yes, how can I succeed in this world with the help of God?

I am NOT a Pin Cushion!

Mon, 14 Mar 2011 00:00:00 GMT

January...I had Malaria.

February...I was great.

March...Malaria came back. What the crap?!?

On Monday, I started feeling weird and I tried to blow it off like it was nothing.

On Tuesday, I got a Malaria test that came back negative.

On Wednesday, I got a Typhoid test that came back negative...followed by another Malaria test that came back negative again.

In the doctor's office, I was told that it must have been a resistive form of Malaria from Kenya and that sometimes it would take awhile to show up in the blood because of my anti-malaria meds. He explained very simply that they would give me some stronger medication that would completely take care of it and have me on my way

So I walked into another room. I should have known that treatment would be difficult when I read above the door that it was the "injection room." They stuck an IV in my hand and proceeded to pull out a 3 inch needle. The tech asked me to lay down on the hospital bed so that he could give me my pain meds...in my butt! What the heck!

I kind of "sternly" told him to give me the pills. But he just responded with "we have to do it this way" and smiled.

Ugh.

So Brian walked out of the room and the tech didn't hesitate in giving me the most painful shot of my life. Actually, he might have enjoyed it a little too much!

As I stood up, I started to black out and fell back on the bed. He came over and asked me to follow him and my response was "oh, heck no! Let me lay here for 1 moment." I'm sure he was super thrilled with me at that point...until he realized that I was woozy and in danger of fainting.

So Brian helped me to another room where the tech placed an IV bag on the stand. I thought I was just going to receive some injections into the IV thing in my hand up until this point. It's what they had done for others during their trips here. So I asked him how long it would take and he responded with "just 3 hours tonight." I was unprepared for what was coming next and I think it showed all over my face when he said that I'd have to come back for the next 3 days for more.

Fast forward 3 hours later. I got up off the bed and attempted to go pay my bill for the night. My head was spinning so badly from all of the fluids and drugs they had given me and I felt like I was floating. It came up to a total of $28...seriously!? That's insane.

Pastor John and Brian came to pick me up at 11 pm that evening and take me back to the house. I counted, that night, and realized that I had gotten 10 different injections in different forms over the course of 1 day!

Thursday...I went back to the clinic for 4 more hours of IV fluids.

Friday...I went back to the clinic, again, for 4 more hours of IV fluids...although, this time, the flesh under the IV began to swell and bubble up...so they took it out and inserted another IV needle into the other hand. This time, the guy didn't know what he was doing and fished around for a vein for awhile. I was in shock, shaking, crying and ready to throw up...and he asked if I was ok...heck no! A lady came over, pulled the needle out and went straight into the vein. Whew...so that was over!

Saturday...I went back to the clinic for my last 4 hours of IV fluids!

YAY!! I think it's time to go celebrate!

Sprinting into Harvest Fields of Freedom

Fri, 25 Feb 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Another day in Rwanda...another sermon from the pulpit. I wasn't sure if this whole "life of a thousand sermons" in the land of a thousand hills would stretch me or if it would just get old. Not only has it stretched me, it's made me take a look at myself and see several things. First, I HEAR God and He's constantly speaking. Second, that being stretched and pushed to do more things out of my comfort zone is super good for me. And third, that I LOVE to preach!

It's hard to imagine that I used to cringe at the thought of public speaking. When I was younger, I would fight puking my guts out or fainting for at least a week before I was to get up and speak. Now, it's the most incredible opportunity...it never fails that God speaks to me before and during the message...I LOVE to hear His heart and deliver it to whomever I'm speaking to.

This week, I gave a sermon on a major theme of this month for me - Running the Race.

Everywhere I've gone lately, I've noticed a recurring theme about continuing in the race, sprinting athletes and athletic tracks. So I went to God in search of more and among so many other verses pertaining to running, I settled on Hebrews 12...the dreaded chapter on discipline.

"Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witness, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

Hebrews 12:1-3

As we throw off everything that hinders and holds us back from all that God has for us (like our worries, our lack of jobs, our bad relationships, our problems, etc.), we are able to run with more and more perseverance towards the cross. It doesn't say to stand or crawl or walk or even jog, but it says to run! That means full-force ahead, without anything holding you back.

Consider Jesus who looked at the cross and the pain of holding the entire world's worth of sin and saw joy. Fix your eyes on Him and not on the problems of the world. He is where our joy is found, not in our circumstances, people or things. He endured...so we can endure. He was tormented, beaten and hung on a cross to die a slow painful death...He endured. We run this race of life with all of its heartbreak and ...we are called to endure.

Several years ago, I was really into running. I posted a Facebook blog about it at the time

"So, today before I even got out to the Lake, my goal was to complete 5 miles. Being sore from Saturday, I knew this would be a struggle, but I wanted to prove it to myself that I could complete some huge goal and not back down...

Almost every run I go on, it ends up being a test of my perseverance...kind of a test of my limits. I tend to talk to God while I'm running. This time I started out asking Him to reveal to me truth about the correlation between running a race/distance and getting through life/circumstances/seasons.

The first 2 miles weren't too difficult. I just listened to my up-beat, non-stop Praise and Worship music and praised along with it while I established my pace. When I felt tired, I just turned back to praise and all the things that had been trying to pull me back and stop me...the tiredness, shortness of breath, slight nausea, and soreness in my muscles...just kinda disappeared.

So I kept going. When I reached 2.5 miles, my body ached to rest, but my mind was in it to stay, although it began taking a toll on my thoughts. Just like when you're on the verge of a bold-face sin and all of those little thoughts go through your head...He'll forgive me, nobody will know, I'll just do it right next time, you'll feel better if you do it...it all started swirling around my head. Just as I reached 3 miles, I wanted to quit. I reached a goal that had been so huge weeks ago, and I figured I could settle with it this time and try for 5 miles next week...

But then, God sent someone into the picture to help! Just like in life when you need someone to help encourage and pick you up, God sent her at the perfect time when He knew I couldn't do it on my own anymore. Courtney ran up to me and turned in my direction and began to run with me.

So now, I had my praise music, a huge reassurance that God was with me and wanted me to complete my goal and an awesome friend to help me along the way. At 4.5 miles, I was counting down the distance I needed to go to make my goal and it was getting harder and harder with each stride. But, not only did God allow me to reach my goal, He allowed me to see that I was so much stronger than I'd ever believed myself to be! I reached my 5 miles turned the corner and kept running. I continued setting little goals, hoping to reach each one before stopping...and with every goal I reached, I gained more strength and, once again, more reassurance that God really was pushing my perseverance.

We turned the next corner and started down the second to last stretch before the final 6 mile mark. As we ran, I noticed a dark stick shape on the path and suddenly realized it was a snake as we were right up on it. It didn't faze me very much, although it was only a few feet away. Even a guy coming towards us screamed and ran off the path into the grass!

Then it occurred to me...I didn't let fear stop me. I didn't let it control me. I didn't let it take my mind off of the ultimate goal. I kept my eye on the prize and continued at a steady pace, getting closer and closer with each step.

And although every muscle in my legs screamed for relief, I knew that the only limit on my ability to make the goal was the limit I set for myself in my mind.

So, with the final stretch of path, I picked up my speed and put every ounce of energy and strength into the last 100 meters. I finished 6 miles! I fought fear, pain, fatigue, self-pity and discouragement. And with each obstacle, there was something to fight back with...praise, encouragement, a friend to run with, reassurance of God with me and the strong desire to finish the goal I had set out to complete."

So this race, this life, is full of struggles, both within ourselves and from outside sources. We'll come up against pain, weakness, and exhaustion...but we're called to push through the hard times and run hard after the goal. We'll come up against loneliness...but God says that He'll provide what or who we need to make it through...even if it is only Him. We'll face fears head on...but God doesn't want us to let our fears stand in the way of the plans He's laid out before us.

As I was preaching, God gave me a very clear vision of a person sitting in the middle of a pile of trash, or their "mess." This person decided to get up and walk away from the mess and started off very slow. As they walked away, they continued walking through a mess, but the trail of mess slowly decreased. With a decrease in mess, this person picked up speed and the trail of mess continued to decrease as they ran. Eventually, this person ended up in a full-on sprint. Trash was falling off of them and the path that they were on was beginning to grow life. This person ran into a harvest field and they had picked up so much speed that the crops were flying up as they ran through the field.

In getting up from our "messes" and running towards the prize of Jesus, we're taken from our own mess to a harvest field prepared for us. But, it is up to us to get up and run the race. It's a choice that we can only make for ourselves. Life is a process of being willing to step out of our personal messes and running to the prize.

Hebrews 12:7-8 says "Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons."

Life is full of discipline. And God disciplines those He loves. I've come to a point where I love discipline! I love when God smacks me on the back of the head and says, "hey, listen, I have something I need to tell you about something you're doing..." Call me crazy, but I see it as the opportunity to run out of my messes and run fast and harder after Jesus and everything He has for me!

Are you willing to be open to discipline? Do you love discipline from God? Are you really willing to take a look at yourself, listen to God and move out of the messes He shows you?

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 11:11

As we're willing to listen to discipline and move, God will lead us to a harvest of righteousness. Discipline is all about training us for more...more responsibility, more faith, more grace, more love for others and God, more of God. It's not easy, just like my run at the beginning wasn't easy. But God provides the way...He just allows us to run through it, persevere and trust in Him to direct and support us.

"Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed." Hebrews 11:12-13

As you listen to discipline and walk or run out of it, He will strengthen you, He will provide level paths through areas of chaos and He will bring healing in every area you are willing to open up to Him.

With healing, freedom comes.

With freedom, we are called to keep running the race and bring others along with us to encourage and show them freedom. The freedom we walk in is not only for us. We walk in freedom so that others can walk in freedom. We run the race so that we can run through the harvest fields and change the very essence of it. We bring freedom to those who don't have it!

Pea Coat Philosophy

Mon, 21 Feb 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I have this amazing navy blue pea coat back home that I've had for years. I can still remember the day that I went into the store, set my eyes upon it and walked back out of the store, pea coat in hand, a proud owner of a brand-spankin' new navy blue pea coat. That day was at least 10 years ago, yet it still hangs in my parent's closet back home. It waits for me until I return back to the states and back to the winter months...maybe...

2 years ago, I was living in Savannah and had my eyes set on a new pea coat. It was tan and black, super cute and on sale! I decided to upgrade and invest in a new pea coat that would feel newer, look better and, ultimately, fit better.

The weird thing was that for at least a year, I continued to switch between the two coats. One day, I would decide that I wanted old comfort and I would choose to throw on the old blue pea coat that had gone through years of wear and tear. On other days, I would decide to put on the brand new, adorable black and tan pea coat. It didn't matter that it wasn't as comfortable as the other...it was much cuter and fit better.

Now that I'm in Africa, it's not really an issue. It's stinkin' hot here and it would be really unnecessary and quite dumb to carry a heavy, winter pea coat around the world with me. But even here in Rwanda this month, God has given me a figurative "new coat" to put on. Let me explain...

In America (only 6-ish months ago), I knew who I was because of my titles. I was the Master's student...the youth creative arts leader...the server...the worshipper...the daughter...

I wore these titles around and people recognized me by them. When I looked in the mirror, I saw myself wearing the "Master's student coat" and the "leader coat." My identity was in the titles I carried around with me.

So when the World Race began and I didn't have a title, I struggled. I won't lie. I actually sat in my parents' kitchen on the night before we flew out and I had a small meltdown...my exact words were "if I don't have a title, where do I fit in on my team? What am I gonna do? I want to know what they're doing and how they're being trained. I want to know it all. I want some kind of control." Yeah...not too pretty.

I'm not sure why I relied so much on titles to prove who I was...or maybe that in itself was the reason why...to prove to others that I was good enough and that I could do it. If others saw it, then I could believe it myself. All of my worth was found in what others thought I could do or couldn't do and I wanted the chance to prove that I was good enough...smart enough...pretty enough...

But early on in the race, God spoke so clearly to me that He wanted me to know my identity in Him and not in those titles that I'd always relied on. He stripped away every title, every confidence and everything I had ever been sure of...He took away my coats that I was comfortable in...my tattered, dirty, old coats that felt amazing to me. But they had become way too small for me to truly grow in the things that God wanted to take me through.

So I put on new coat after new coat; each time taking off my old habits and comforts to fit into something roomy and beautiful. At the beginning of Cambodia, God graciously restored me with a title...finances...although my perception had changed so much that it was really difficult for me to be confident in it at first. I wasn't sure if it would become another title like in my past, but I continued to walk in it. It never became my identity and I was able to walk in it in complete freedom. Over the last few months, I've walked in that coat, getting more and more comfortable in it as time went along. But when things get comfortable, we all know that God gets uncomfortable with where we are!

So He gave me a new coat this week...

Team Leader.

Just typing that makes me slightly uncomfortable. Ha! The title that I cried over at the very beginning is what I now have....yet I find myself feeling more uncomfortable than I've felt in a really long time. You would naturally expect that leadership would bring more power and control...not! God's been bringing me to a place of letting go of every form of control or power I hold. It's no longer about proving to people that I can do it or proving that I'm good enough to do it...but it's a thought of "God help me because I have no idea how to do this without you and I don't want to do it without your leading!" I know I can't prove it to anyone...even God...but that's not even on my radar anymore. Praise God!

I will fail. I will make mistakes...but that's part of the coat. Actually, it's part of any new coat I put on. It's a process of growing into the coat until it becomes comfortable and God gives you another new coat to grow into.

As I do step into this, I just ask that you be praying for me and our team in this season. I've got a lot of growing to do before I can fill this coat and all of my teammates are going through their own growth as well. As nervous as I am to step into this, I'm super excited to see where God has us going and how He's gonna lead us there!

Gimpy Mexican Nights and Motorbike Drivers

Mon, 21 Feb 2011 00:00:00 GMT

With almost every day spent giving sermons to different congregations here in Rwanda, life naturally turns into an adventure when we have a day off. So yesterday, we decided to start the day at a massive track and soccer stadium. Our intention was to spend the morning playing ultimate Frisbee in the middle of Rwanda, but we got there and weren't allowed on the field. So I took pictures and decided to journal...then proceeded to talk to a local guy who called me "lazy" since I wasn't squatting up and down flights of 50+ stairs and doing 200+ vertical sit-ups.

After eating some lunch, we headed to the airport to catch up with family back home. I bought one of the most amazing cups of ice cream EVER and was able to Skype with my best friend. Yay! At one point, I stepped away from the table to call her and I ended up 5 ft from a mzungu couple who full on made out in the middle of the Kigali airport...eww! Amy and I took motorbikes back from the airport and they loved taking pictures with us! As soon as I got off of my motorbike, the guy kept repeating "me picture, me picture, me picture!" So here's my motorbike driver who I like to call Stevie...because he kinda-sorta resembles the Wonder!

Several of us had decided earlier that night to attempt to go find the local Mexican restaurant for dinner that night. So we returned back to the house and realized that nobody had tried to track down the location of the restaurant. So I went on a search calling and texting people. We finally tracked down the area of the city where it was located thanks to Brian (mmm...Amen!).

The only problem was that we had no idea how to get to this area, Kimihurera, and nobody at the house spoke English. So I went to the French-Kenya-Rwandan speaking woman and attempted, with many over-exaggerated movements, to describe what we needed. She tried to explain where to go and I ended up bringing over a piece of paper. This is what she wrote:

So we figured out we were supposed to take a bus from one place to another to another...the only problem was that we didn't really even know where we were starting. But we decided that a Mexican dinner was well worth the adventure through the crazy unknown country of Rwanda. So we took off to the nearest bus stop, handed the slip of paper with kinda-sorta directions on it to a non-English speaking Rwandan with a USA t-shirt on. He spoke a few sentences in some other language and pointed to the ground. So we waited...and waited...and eventually a lady walked up who was headed to the same area we needed to get to. We boarded a matatu with her and she said she would take us to this restaurant that she'd never heard of before.

If I haven't explained a matatu before, here it is...a sardine can on wheels. 20 or so people in a regular sized van...it's like "Honey I Blew up the Sardine Can" with 20 sardines packed into the most ridiculous ghetto van ever made! I had a lady sitting next to me who was closer to my torso than my own arm could get. It was slightly insane. Not to mention the subwoofer screwed into the top of the van located directly 1 ft in front of my head.

So they dropped us off and we spent the next 35 minutes trudging through the hills of Rwanda trying to find a hidden Mexican restaurant amongst the houses. At one point, we passed another group of white people and I made the comment that we had to be going the right way if we were headed in the direction that they had just come from. As the passed, they made the same observation, "This has to be the right way since they're coming from there!" That's always a good sign...

As we headed down the street, the lady helping us commented that she had a camera and she really wanted a picture with all of us mzungus before we parted way. So when we finally found the restaurant, we all took pictures with the woman who gave up her evening to lead us to some hidden Mexican treasure. And we arrived!!!

To Mambo Bar and Restaurant...complete with foosball, bunnies, an in-ground trampoline, a swing set, a swimming pool and a volleyball court. Heck yeah!

We spent half of the time waiting for our food out on the trampoline! Talk about random!

I ordered this amazing chicken burrito and we spent the next couple hours just hanging out in what I consider to be one of the most random places in Africa.

As we left Mambo, Gina's wart foot was starting to bother her...the short back story on this is that Tricia's fuzzy toe wart somehow infected Gina's foot with a wart. Gina decided to take matters into her own hands and carve it out herself. So that's what she did and she's been gimping around for the last few days...so Amy gave her the first of many piggy back rides that night. As one person tired out, the next would volunteer to carry her for the next hundred feet and so on and so forth.

Just imagine for a moment, 7 mzungu girls in the middle of Africa on these random dark streets in the middle of who knows where taking turns giving piggy back rides to one of the girls. We definitely got a lot of attention and giggles and glares in our direction. 2 miles later, we finally found our bus stop and waited for 3 motorbikes and 1 taxi to offer to take us home.

That in itself was an adventure because 100 yards from our stop, the taxi driver decided to pull over and stop every 10 feet to, hopefully, let us off. We tried to explain for awhile that we needed to go straight but in another country where people don't speak a lot of English, we were posed with a problem...a jerky ride for 100 yards and a lot of laughter.

I've fallen in love with the randomness of life in these other countries! I love that, at least in Rwanda, people are always willing to drop everything and help you get to where you're going! And I love that God provides random moments of jumping on trampolines and taking pictures with motorbike drivers to lighten the mood of life! And I love that we have a squad awesome enough to provide piggy back rides to those who have wart-healing feet!

I love my life!

Embracing Uncertainty

Fri, 11 Feb 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Last week, our squad jumped in a bus and headed to Rwanda.

34 of us

on 1 bus

infected with 1000's of cockroaches

for 28 hours

with 1 stop for food!

Surprisingly, I think we've all become so accustomed to the monthly "travel day" to the next unknown place, that it didn't really phase most of the squad. I definitely could have complained a lot, but I didn't see the need in it...so I embraced the uncertainty of a new place using the most random form of transportation to get there!

With every new country, new contact and new ministry, it's easy to get caught up in expectations. We were told at Training Camp to drop all expectations...not to expect who your team would be, who your contacts would be, how you would live or what you would do. At that time, I pretty much let go of all expectations and I think it has made the last 5 months much less stressful than it could have been. Even the bus ride from Kenya to Rwanda could have been pure torture had I expected a luxury American bus...although it was considered African luxury!

As we arrived here in Rwanda, my team was discussing expectations and whether or not we could truly have none. I said the same thing I said after training camp..."I expect nothing else but to see God move."

And I still stand on that principle. As I look at my life now, I truly believe that as I give up on expectations of life, God will truly shine through and reveal Himself in a way that wouldn't be possible if my eyes were on expectations of this world.

So I was preparing for my first sermon last weekend (let me just point out that here in Rwanda, our ministry is to give about 10 sermons a week. I had never really preached, but I jumped right in and figured, "heck, why not?!"). So the idea of expectations and uncertainties came up again. I had been reading Mark Batterson's book "In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day" over the last couple days and it went along perfectly with our my team's discussions on expectations. But as I researched the ideas and took a look at my own life, I found that the principle of Embracing Uncertainty applied as much to my life as the people I was preparing the sermon for (duh!).

These are pretty much the ideas behind embracing uncertainty that I found to be totally true:

There are thousands of variables in life and they all add up to 1 thing: an uncertain outcome.

Embracing uncertainty is a dimension of faith.

o Jonathan did it in 1 Samuel 14:6-7.

o Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego did it in Daniel 3:17-18.

o David did it in 1 Samuel 17:34-50.

o Peter did it in Matthew 14:25-31

They did not know what was coming next or have full assurance in their own safety, but they knew that God knew. And that was enough for them.

Don't make your own plans with your own knowledge without seeking Him. Seek His face and He'll lay your plans out before you.

We all want control, but the decision to follow Christ is a relinquishment of control.

"Our confidence isn't contingent upon our circumstances. Our confidence is contingent upon the character of God. Our circumstances may not make sense, but we know that God is planning His work and working His plan." -Mark Batterson

Don't be afraid to:

o Talk to that stranger about Jesus

o Pray for healing for the sick

o Share your testimony with a random person

o Give $500 to someone if God tells you to

o Move to another country if God is leading you to

o Go back to school and begin a new career

Because uncertainty in life is guaranteed, but God says He will never forsake you. Trust Him to see you through and take every opportunity to step out in faith and see Him glorified.

So no matter where we go, no matter what giants we come up against, what fires we walk through or what comes against us, we have full assurance to God is the only certainty in life. We never know if our family member is going to get cancer. We never expect when we are about to get laid off from a job. We are never certain whether we will live through tomorrow. But, we are certain that God will lead us through each thing as it comes.

If I look back 4 years ago, I see that life was uncertain. I had the rug pulled out from under me, but God used it all to bring me to this point right now. He never once forsook me. He never gave up on me. When everything in life was uncertain...when every expectation I had in life was demolished...God was certain!

I went from that to Rwanda...well, more than that, but that's where I am at this moment. I thought my life was over because I had expectations in the world. As soon as I began to seek God's face and not my own plans, He took my life and laid a path out in front of me. I can't imagine being anywhere else right now. I can't imagine having expectations in the world. I expect God to move...in whatever way He sees fit.

If that's in ministry, so be it.

If that's in family, bring it on.

If that's in my life, heck yes!

My future is uncertain. So is yours! Tomorrow is a mystery. But God knows. So who better to put our trust in than the God of the universe?! Seek His face and trust Him to deliver in His ways...He will and it will blow your mind! Let Him take you on the ride of a lifetime as you give up every expectation to Him. Be certain in Him and His plans for you...and walk it out in boldness!

You don't have to know where you're going. In fact, it may be the scariest thing you'll ever do...but know that He will move when you step out in faith to put your certainty in Him alone.

Embrace the uncertainty of your life...and live it!

Bucket Full of Feedback

Wed, 2 Feb 2011 00:00:00 GMT

As most of you know, Kenya was difficult for me. I labeled it as my "bucket month." That label comes from launch week in the Philippines when Allison spoke to us about her bucket month. Simply put, it just means a month where you don't wanna do anything because you lack motivation, desire and emotion...and because of that, you find a metaphorical, or literal, bucket...and you sit...and complain...and decide that you really don't wanna do anything...you just want your way and you want to be comfortable and you want to cry about life.

So...Kenya was my bucket month. At one point, I actually sat on a bucket and said, "I don't deny it...I'm here...and it sucks!"

I was having trouble even seeking after God and even more trouble hearing from Him. The one resounding thought in my head all month was how much I wanted to get back to Nairobi for squad debriefs and be with my Q family.

But during the last few days in Eldoret, God did begin to speak...and more importantly, I began to listen.

Just like a loving father to his beloved child, He sat me down and gently began to tell me how much He loves me and how much He's proud of me. Then very gently, He told me that because of those things, He needed to tell me more.

He reminded me that I'm not here to be comfortable.

And that I'm called here to bring the Kingdom to the nations.

I'm not here to whine and cry...and I'm definitely not here to make things more stressful for the people we serve with.

I'm here to leave our ministries with more of God...more of His love...more of His Kingdom.

He told me that just because I didn't agree with people in other cultures didn't mean that I could sink down to another level and lose sight of the goal He placed before me at the beginning.

I'm called to bring the Kingdom of God to the world...and specifically where I am at any given moment. If I don't leave a place better than when I arrived, have I done anything at all? Have I fulfilled that goal? Have I brought God to a people who probably need to encounter Him more than people who already do ministry pretty amazingly and fully know Him?

The answer to those questions this month was...no.

And I could leave the questions with that simple answer...or I could learn from them, move onto the next country, and implement the lessons that God wants to leave me with...

That more than anything else, God loves His children...He loves me...He loves the children who love to follow mzungus...He loves the random scraggly looking guy that gives me the heeby jeebies...He loves every person, every color, every culture, every nation, every age, every gender...EVERY person.

And because of that, I'm here. I'm here to show the love of our Father to every child of His. I'm here to bring His Kingdom down to every person here. I'm here to get over myself and love like He loved. I'm here to seek Him and His heart...I'm here so that my heart came break for what breaks His.

I thank my God because He's never ok with leaving me where I am. He looks at me with those gentle, loving, yet stern eyes and says that He wants more. He sees more in me and He's not satisfied with leaving me here.

...which leads me to my next point in this blog.

I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but if not, in the World Race, we implement this thing called Feedback. It's the action of bringing issues, problems, praises and encouragements out in your team, or your community. I used to be scared to death of feedback because I was always nervous that people would see my faults and weaknesses and point them out to me...which would make me feel threatened...or offended (which CLEARLY I've been in the past, so please forgive me if I've been easily offended by you!)

But now...I LOVE feedback! Just as God has been breaking me down about these issues or others, I've become grateful for them and have begun to really pay attention to feedback. I understand now that, just like God, these people around me have my best interests in mind. They have so much belief in who I am and what I can become. They feedback me because they love me. They want to see me move onto more and more depths of God's love and life.

So God has used this bucket month to bring me to a place of stepping into un-offendability and openness to His feedback and to others.

And even through this month...where I thought I'd reverted into the old me and taken on an incredible amount of negativity and complaining...God has shown me that I'm not who I was. I can still make mistakes and falter...but I don't react in the same way anymore. I'm at a place where I welcome feedback and criticism. I want to know how I can grow. I want to know how to go further and I'm open to any feedback that is going to show me how to do that.

Mmmm...I just love God! I love that He truly uses everything to speak to us...we just have to listen. It brings so much joy to my heart and ignites even more passion in me. J

So I may have sat on a bucket this month...but it was full of feedback...full of truth...and full of grace!

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